My Fear

Friends.
Yeah, that’s how we started.
But soon our smiles had changed.
No longer was it ‘Just Friends’.
We were growing into more.
The beginning was honeymoon like,
But soon we changed.
We began to argue back and forth.
First it was yelling.
Then you slapped me.
Finally you beat me.
Shock was all over me.
You would become scared of yourself,
Or was that an act?
You swore you loved me
But I think those are lies.
Yet I believed you then.
But you continued beating me.
Day after day,
When we were alone.
You’d apologize and I would forgive.
What was wrong with me?

It was never love.
It was never lust.
It was a desire of dominance.

But it was my fault.
I had let it continue.
And it grew.

I was saved by a god friend.
He saved me and helped me.

I fell in love with a guy.
A concert and three days later,
I was in love.
But deep inside I was afraid.
Would he beat me?
I guess I should have known better.
Nine months we were together.
Then he left me.
I guess we weren’t meant to be.
A broken heart created.
A shadow truth shown.
Now that heart is mending.

New love has appeared.
He makes me feel happy.
Never is he really angry.
If he was ever,
He never hits me.
Not like he can when we don’t live near.
Two different states.
But he has never threatened me.

No longer am I afraid…