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dead tree shields us all in need

 
 
 
 
 
Every chamber has a door.
 
Somewhere, even hers. Even mine.


They lean with the warping of frames

over time, veins and arteries of coming
and going,
directing traffic in or out.
 
This is why a dead tree shapes the stoutest

panel. Or name it shield - it suits as well.
 
Once fitted, they will not outgrow us.

Nor, in death, feel in our place,

while turning bad weather,
of both strangers and indifference
aside.
 
The work is never in seeking a key
nor entering uninvited, as though you owned
the halls beyond.
 
Just camp on the doorstep awhile, and wait for the clink of keys
inside.
 
Or, if you find wood has more patience
than you,
knock twice

with words spent on honest paper.
 
 
 
 
 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • michichoeret
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    nicely done

    everything always has a door but what if you are not allowed to enter? that's a pisser


  • Grunts Girl
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    entering uninvited..
    loved that part...
    what the heck was i thinkin'
    entering this one!lol
    lordy lordy
    this was wonderful


  • graphite
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i agree with mary!
    "Once fitted,...
    aside"- this part is just yummy?!?!?!? lol i mean i think it's brilliant!


  • Cat gold member
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Just camp on the doorstep awhile, and wait for the clink of keys
    inside.


    This is really excellent- i especially love that line. I very much like what you are doing with your style lately- you are using a more conversational tone with attention to tight -well chosen language-

    The difference is pleasing and effective

    m


  • Nicolette gold member
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I hear you knocking...you can come in! and and I'm quite sure Suzie hears the knocks loud and clear... Loved this poem - you are such a talented writer and I love the way you see life around you and then write it..!

    ~ Nicolette


    • Suzanne Dia gold member
      November 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      hehe, you didn't have to edit your comment, silly

      don't make me say dirty words!


  • Rowan gold member
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I'd let you in...
    lol.


  • transcendental baby gold member
    November 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Love that!


  • misselaineous gold member
    November 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good stuff


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    ah, love the last couple stanzas the most. the rest is very good, don't get me wrong, but the camping, lol, so appropriate really

    i knew you could compete
1 - 13 of 13