Fury bubbles beneath the skin,
threatening leakage, blistering.
I have no courage to grant it release,
for once it starts it may not cease.
A rampage would swiftly ensue,
blood shed thats so long overdue.
Ripping your spine out intact,
listening to bones as they crack.
Killing quick wouldn't be a choice,
for in your anguish I would rejoice.
I could feast forever on your pain,
well until I drive you totally insane.
Melting your hair to molten mass
slicing skin with shards of glass.
Scorching eyeballs until your blind,
feeling my muscles simply unwind.
But not an option, such a shame,
so keep calm and fan the flames.
Instead I'll continue, smile sweetly,
whilst grinding my teeth so discreetly!
Author notes
Prompt: ANGER WITHIN
This was great to write, really made me feel so much better!
Option 6~a
A contest entry
- In To Deep... by Daizy21.
850 points, ended December 8, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you got! :) by VanGoghNights.
400 points, ended December 7, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Is anger strangling your happiness? Click here! by Sorath.
650 points, ended January 1, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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congrats on the silver and two hms. this was very creative and I enjoyed the rhyme and flow. I'm a big fan of good rhyme and always enjoy it. Thanks for sharing with the group.
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So, so, uncreative. I must have read dozens nearly identical to this. Eloquently expressed, to be sure, but unoriginal, so it holds no allure
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Thank you for entering! HAHA I loved that last line, it made my day! Wow such a vivid imagination of torture. Yay torture. This is really good, I enjoyed it so much I read it twice!
Good Luck!
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I like this, it describes true anger really well! I am an angry person very much at the moment and these words seem to be what makes me, well, me at the moment. Very hurtful and hateful.
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Excellent
I am angry now! lol I felt it, it was almost as if your were in my face shouting
That my friend is intensity, nicely done
Savina
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I do not think that i would have been able to express my anger so beautifully.
You showed me deep ander,and you did it very well.
Thank you for this, and Good Luck! -
yeah, very well done it's good that you let out that anger, it made for a great poem!!!
good luck in my contest.
xo
kandy -
Very well done and letting it out is always better then bottling it up inside to where it may pop the cork and be unleashed on the wrong target. Thanks for entering into the contest.
Be well and be blessed,
Mouser -
great stuff!!!
all consuming rage and retribution.
fave line 'I could feast forever on your pain', finger licking good!!!
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
well done!!!
keep up the good work!!!
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Oh my! I have heard that revenge is sweet.. but this is frightening. I loved it! I know not to antoginize or upset you. I enjoyed the flow and imagery , as well as how you managed to keep focus on the topic. Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the comp
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i know this is the bomb right here. yes i must agree with Cara this would be a good one to kill the IT.
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Ouch!!! Vicious.... I love it!! lol
You sure know how to write the dark!!
You've chosen exactly the right words here... anger within indeed!!
Good luck!
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It's always good to vent! Let it out! Great job!
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This is writhing!
"bubbling beneath the skin"
I love your metaphors
"whilst grinding my teeth so discreetly!"
this poem is definitely
attention grabbing...
This is exceptional!!
I love it! I love it!
good luck!
~Pastel
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Kill the IT Excellent Poem Dear. Good luck with it. You did the prompt well but darn the ending wasn't like mine Great rhythm rhyme too.
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