Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

always

gleam of tarnished silver
mounted rusty stone
turquoise almost gone
age can sometimes tell

spirit of ancient stone
gleam of rustic beauty
jewelry for a maiden
all passion held within

Author notes

word count 30

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • aeolia
    November 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I'm jealous of those first two lines. I'm torn about whether or not this should be punctuated, because while it'd be easier to read with punctuation, it'd kill the stream of conscious, already awesome flow. And it's your poem & thus your call. In any case, je l'aime beaucoup!

    Amazingly done in only 30 words! Brevity works well here. Good luck in the contest.


  • loveisfreedom
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    good

    i loved your discription {gleam of tarnished silver
    mounted rusty stone} i only wish it was longer.