A drinker, a smoker, a gambler
A fool to have thought he had changed
A moment of normal existence
Too much for the daft and deranged
The sobering sharpness of boredom
Has cut his resolve dead in two
He always ends up
Down at the bottom
Back in the bottle with you
A futile attempt at redemption
He tried to be good but he failed
Too weak to fight off the temptations
When life's bitter trials assailed
So useless to live in denial
Though that was the best he could do
He always ends up
Down at the bottom
Back in the bottle with you
So lets raise a glass, you're his God
You demon of bourbon and lust
We'll offer a toast to stagnation
Deceit and betrayal of trust
Come see as his world falls to pieces
It's all just a question of when
And watch him end up
Down at the bottom
Back in the bottle...
Again
A contest entry
- Pick your favorite prewrite by Loveandblessings2u.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 31 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHIKSEY HARD TIMES AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN OR MEN FOR YOU LADIES OUT THERE by Swan song.
900 points, ended April 25, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes and Fresh Writes Contest by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended November 15, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The temptations of life by annesall235.
425 points, ended December 10, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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A great write the form is was exacuted perfectly and the "Down at the bottom Back in the bottle" was a great tie together at the end of those segments
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This is an awesome poem. Man this reminds me of my Aunt Michelle. Lordy I swear she is always drunk. No wonder 1 of her 2 daughters is going straight down the same path. Surprised my Uncle has not left the derned woman yet. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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Yes this was good stuff here well done indeed poet I enjoyed this
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Very well written!
down at the bottom
back in the bottle...
again
I love those lines. You turned loving an alcoholic into a wonderful poem, deep with emotion. You can feel the torment of watching him crawl back in.
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Powerful piece, good luck with it
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Thanks Lady D
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very good write! thank you for entering!!!!! good luck in the contest
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OUTSTANDING -- Excellent Writing
I second EVERYTHING Trista says (below).
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Every poem of yours I've read has impressed me with the rhyme and rhythm. I still struggle with meter in my poetry, often feeling I'll never get it down. Your use of repetition is wonderful also, so there's a lot here for me to admire. The message in this poem is especially moving for me to read, as alcohol has affected the lives of so many people I know. But you write with just enough detachment to your subject to keep it from ever feeling "preachy", which I love. A splendid entry in the contest. Congrats on the bronze, but in truth I feel like I should be exchanging trophies with you.
Best wishes, and I look forward to reading more,
~J.
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First I would like to ask you to please not 5 star my comment, or comment me back at all for now. I am trying real hard not to find out who anyone is.
It is such ashame when anyone can't beat temptation, knowing deep down inside that something is wrong, but doing it anyway. Makes one think when will that someone ever learn. Some people never change, I guess.
It is hard to sit by and watch someone you care for destry their self. i Know how that feels.
This is a great piece of poetry.
I enjoyed your story, even if it is a bit sad.
It is very well written and has a great flow.
Thanks so much for entering my contest and lots of luck to you in the contest.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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this hit home with me as my sister is an alcholic
and wont get help
your flow was perfect
and your message was truth
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Hm... I thought you werent a drinker!!! Hehe... doubt it is about you... but there is always a chance in this world... dunno... hope not X.X
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wow
man you are off the chain with these poems...I cant get enough...I seriously look up to you when it comes to poems...one day Ima be as good...hopefully
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You never cease to amaze me this is Excellent!! God took my demons Thankfully. Woooo boy was I a drunk.
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Giving up any sort of addiction is never as easy as it looks.... there are times when you fail, what matters is getting up, dusting yourself off and trying agian, it's all anyone could ask...
Wonderfully poignant piece here... loved the flow
Karen
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