REUNION
PLACE: A function room for a 10 year High School Reunion
CHARACTERS: PATRICK, WIFE, and DAVE
PATRICK: Hello
WIFE: Oh! Um, hello.
PATRICK: It’s Annie, isn’t it?
WIFE: Huh? Oh, no. Sorry, no.
PATRICK: Shelia?
WIFE: No, sorry, I’m not Shelia.
PATRICK: Marie? I swear I never forget a name and a face. You are Marie, aren’t you?
WIFE: No, sorry… I’m not. But, don’t worry though, you didn’t forget a name and a face.
PATRICK: I’ve been circulating this party for about three hours now, and you’re the only one I don’t seem to recognize. It seems to me I have.
WIFE: No, what I mean is we’ve never met.
PATRICK: We haven’t? Well, then, don’t mind me asking but you haven’t gate crashed a High School Reunion just to sit in a corner by yourself, have you?
WIFE: Huh? Oh, ha ha… No, um, I’m afraid I was just dragged along as a date… My um, husband…
PATRICK: Ooh... I understand.
WIFE: Yes…
PATRICK: Hm. (beat) Well it’s nice to meet you then. I’m Patrick by the way, so how are you enjoying the party?
WIFE: Patrick. How do you do?
PATRICK: I believe I asked you first.
WIFE: (laughs) Well yes… I guess you did. I’m enjoying the party fine thanks… I suppose.
PATRICK: Really? Because, you look like you’re the most miserable one here. And that’s including all my old teachers who thought they’d never have to lay eyes on me again.
WIFE: It’s just that I’ve been dragged to so many parties like this I guess. It just gets a little boring being by oneself until it’s time to be pulled up and shown off… again.
PATRICK: Ah. You husband?
WIFE: My husband.
PATRICK: Hm.
WIFE: Not that I’m unhappy or anything.
PATRICK: No, Of course not.
WIFE: I do like being brought to parties.
PATRICK: Who doesn’t?
WIFE: I mean, free drinks, music…
PATRICK: Interesting people to talk to.
WIFE: Interesting people to talk to, yes! It’s all very nice!
PATRICK: Speaking of free drinks, would you-?
WIFE: Oh no thank you, I already ah-
PATRICK: Oh, right.
WIFE: (beat) It’s actually very strong as well.
PATRICK: Are you sure you don’t want a different one then-
WIFE: My husband got me this one. The fact that it tastes awful and is a bit too strong for me is… well. (laughs) You know, it’s probably the reason why I can talk to you so easily right now! I mean, I don’t even know you!
PATRICK: Mm. You know, I feel like I do know you though. Maybe we have met? Through your husband and another one of his parties, maybe?
WIFE: Doubtful. You’re probably confusing me with someone else. Maybe one of those girls you thought I was before? Um, Anne or Shelia or… something?
PATRICK: Annie, Shelia and Maria. Old high school girlfriends, actually.
WIFE: You can’t remember what your old high school girlfriends look life?
PATRICK: No I can. (laughs) I was really just looking for an excuse to say hello.
WIFE: (stares blankly, confused for a moment) Ooh! Ha! What- you were trying to pick me up or something? Ha! You know I can’t decide if you’re really charming or just incredibly sketchy at the moment. And this awful drink which is slowly beginning to taste better and better really isn’t helping. You know I really should try and find my husband.
PATRICK: What’s his name? Maybe I could point you in the right direction.
WIFE: (looking around the room) It’s… Dave. You know normally he hangs around the bar or something, but I just can’t see him anywhere-
PATRICK: God, you know I’m sorry. I never even asked you your name!
WIFE: My name? Oh haha, right. I’m- oh! There he is! Right there! With the red tie!
PATRICK: With the red tie?
WIFE: Yes! That’s him! Right there with the red tie! I should (begins to get up) Ooh. Oh dear.
PATRICK: You alright?
WIFE: I ah… my head. Yes. No. I’m fine. Just a bit dizzy. I-
PATRICK: Here, let me get you a water or something.
WIFE: No. No no. I’m fine thanks. I think I just drank this too quickly or… something.
PATRICK: No, it’s fine really. I’ll go grab you a water at the bar. I’ll be right back. (leaves to get water)
WIFE: (doesn’t realize he’s left) You don’t have to- really. Please don’t bother. I just get a little dizzy from time to time. Honestly. Especially when drinking these not quite so disgustingly awful drinks that taste like distilled polluted tap water with some infectious mold and crack thrown in. (laugh) But you know… I’m… fine really. (beat) Just like I’m fine with sitting alone at parties. This and the drink. It’s fine. We’re fine. Yes. This drink is good. I love it in fact. The drink and him for that matter. Him and the drink. We’re both- hey… where did… Patrick? Where did you...?
PATRICK: (walking back over) Here’s your water.
WIFE: Huh?
PATRICK: Are you alright?
WIFE: Me? Oh! (composing herself) Yes. I’m fine thank you. Ehm. Thank you for the water, you really didn’t have to.
PATRICK: I wanted to. What you’re drinking now doesn’t look incredibly appetizing. (WIFE takes a few sips.) You feeling a bit better?
WIFE: Yes. Water… helps. Thank you.
PATRICK: (beat) You know, I realized how I know you just now.
WIFE: Really, you do? How?
PATRICK: We worked for the same mentoring program a while back. Man, you know it must have been like six years ago. It was at this little place just on the edge of Lynn. Every once in a while I remember passing you in the building and wondering what your name was.
WIFE: The Outreach center? (staring much harder at him now) You know, maybe I do remember you now! (beat) Jez, it was just so long ago.
PATRICK: Mmm. Then when the holiday party came around you never showed up.
WIFE: I had to quit. I mean, I didn’t want to but… I had to.
PATRICK: Understandable. It can be a depressing job- depending on the kid you get.
WIFE: My boyfriend at the time actually didn’t want me to keep going there. Not Dave, another one. It was an on-again-off again relationship, but… (small, sad laugh) I guess I’m kind of a push over.
PATRICK: It’s a shame you didn’t stay with it any longer. Or even just until after that party.
WIFE: Why? What were you-
PATRICK: So what happened to your husband? The man in the red tie you were pointing out seems to have disappeared again.
WIFE: Oh um… (searching the room again) Oh there he is. With that platinum blonde… dancing.
PATRICK: Does that bother you?
WIFE: What? That he’s dancing with someone I don’t even know? No. (sadly) No, at this point it doesn’t. (beat) What do you mean it was a shame I didn’t stay with the Outreach Center long enough to even show up to the holiday party? What were you planning on doing?
PATRICK: Well I’d ask you to dance for one.
WIFE: (silence, broken by her laugh) I haven’t danced in so long.
PATRICK: Are you feeling any better?
WIFE: (quietly) The water… helped.
PATRICK: Would you like to? (PATRICK and WIFE begin to dance, at first slightly awkwardly) Ha, you know I feel like I’m at a junior high dance again or something.
WIFE: Ha, me too. (PATRICK slowly spins WIFE, their dancing improves.)
PATRICK: You know, if I remember correctly, the next time I saw you- after you left the center, two years later you were on some commercial for tooth paste or something.
WIFE: What? Oh god, no. Please don’t tell me you saw that.
PATRICK: It was you then!
WIFE: (obviously embarrassed) Oh jez, no. I… no. It wasn’t me.
PATRICK: Are you sure about that?
WIFE: No... Well… ok fine. It maybe it was me. God. You know that was Dave’s idea. Because of his job he knew that they needed a model for it and… well. Ha. God. I never wanted to be a model or an actress or anything like that.
PATRICK: You did a very fine job.
WIFE: I wanted to be a social worker. Or a teacher. Or something to help people. Or… something.
PATRICK: I’m sure lots of models and actresses help people in their spare time.
WIFE: Yes, but… that kind of attention. I just… rather not. I… I don’t know.
PATRICK: It’s perfectly alright. You know, I would have recognized you sooner, but your hair is different, isn’t it? It’s more blonde now instead of red. It threw me off. (PATRICK slowly spins WIFE again)
WIFE: Yes… (sadly) My husband likes it blonde. (they separate)
PATRICK: Of course... either way it still looks nice.
WIFE: Thank you. (long silence)
(DAVE, a large, somewhat drunk man in a red tie enters)
DAVE: There you are!
WIFE: Dave-
DAVE: (Heading to PATRICK) I haven’t seen you in years, man! Patrick, how are you doing?
PATRICK: (somewhat surprised) DJ, Hey, yea it’s been a while. I’m good, yea. I’ve just had the pleasure of speaking to your wife. (to WIFE) When you said you were married to a man named Dave… (disappointed) I had no clue DJ was your husband.
DAVE: Ha! I forget I ever even used that nick name!
WIFE: You two were friends in high school?
PATRICK: We were.
DAVE: (cheerfully) Man, you remember when we were the best fucking football captains in this whole fucking school? Those were the days, huh?
PATRICK: (rather seriously) They were.
DAVE: (grabbing WIFE) So you met the wife, huh? (in a fake whisper) She’s hot huh? You know she was the white screen toothpaste girl for a while? Ha! She’s a fucking model!
PATRICK: (kindly, looking to WIFE) Well, she is beautiful enough to be one.
WIFE: (quietly) Thank you.
DAVE: So we’re heading out now. I’ve got some plans for us (laughs). It was good seeing you though, man!
PATRICK: (rather stale) Mm, likewise. (as DAVE starts leaving, to WIFE) It was very nice meeting you- properly- as well.
WIFE: (starts moving with DAVE) It- it was.
PATRICK: Although, wait, I never did get your name!
WIFE: Oh right, it’s-
DAVE: Come on honey, move it!!
WIFE: I… (sadly) goodbye.
PATRICK: Right. Well… (WIFE has exited) goodbye. (PATRICK moves back to table, takes a sip of WIFE’s first drink, coughs a bit with a disgusted face, then exits opposite side.)
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