He slips in quietly like a thief
So as not to wake us from our sleep
Dreams of Christmas Day, not counting sheep
What will Santa leave under our tree?
So as not to wake us from our sleep
Santa tip-toes oh so carefully
Leaving special things for you and me
Does he really slide down the chimney?
Dreams of Christmas Day, not counting sheep
Our loved ones gathering 'round the tree
Sharing the joy the holiday brings
As Christmas unites our family
What will Santa leave under our tree?
A wonderous sight for us all to see
The splendid array of gifts galore
Will fulfill "every childs" wish and more!
Author notes
Retourne:
Like so many other French forms, the Retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme. Form source: shadowpoetry.com NOTE: Christmas Cheer #2 {Childrens Poetry}
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is such a wonderful piece of holiday cheer!! The imagery is great and the background really adds to your poem. Thanks for posting in my daughters first contest. Love ya, Cathy
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Oh my,yet another form from you,you are creative! It would be nice to have something lyrical like this inside a christmas card
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i like it! it's a very good christmas poem...nothing i would expect to find in a christmas card but a wonderful write nonetheless..
thanks for entering my contest better luck in the future
thanks again,
danielle -
Are retournes not awesome. This one is lovely wonderful and full of hioliday spirit
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Seems as if you can put these out at whim yet do them so beautifully. A very nice Christmas story told in a very lovely form and pen. Very Nice
Evan
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Honestly beautiful and innocent!
You! Carried me to the very end and didn't let me down! Bravo!
~ James ~ -
:)
What an awesome style of poem! This is one that I have not come across before but I must admit I really like it and you have done it proud. I shall definitely contemplate having a go at my own. A great write well done x
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;->
Loved this poem, and appreciate you entering!!! Goodluck with the contest, will not quote as I truly loved all of it! hugs
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This is so lovely!!!
All the best in the contest. -
wow, you go girl! Great form, I am impressed. Clearly Christmas inspires you. This is...jolly!
blessings,
MIchelle
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Well done, Christmas must be a song in your heart.
Love, Tom B.
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This is so adorable!!! It needs to be christmas card! You have really caught on to this type of poetry and you do a wonderful job with it. Great imagery and now I can't wait for Christmas this year... Good luck in the contest although i can't imagine any being better than this!!!!
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This poem is full of simple wonder. I love the use of form. Thank you for entering and good luck.
Chelsea
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Yay!
This is great! You catch on to formal poetry so quickly. I love the lines you chose for repitition. The smooth flow sings as it paints the picture a family Christmas.
Well done
Love,
Amera♥
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Well done
The construction of your poem is very clever and shows how much effort it took to get it just right. It is nicely worded, positive in nature and has a somewhat child like simplistic delivery. Good flow and pleasant sounding filled with great imagery exhorting the sights and sounds of Christmas locked in the memory of all children regardless of age.
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