Bombs are falling, people war torn,
babies dying before they are born.
No longer are they allowed to grow,
surviving parents dealt horrific blows.
No time for them to grieve,
they barely have time to believe.
A blistering red and orange skyline,
bombs and fires all intertwined.
Cities destroyed, life full of doubt,
no shelter, food and a drought.
And for what? Can you tell?
Why its all been shot to hell.
Some try to help, gather aid,
made it their personal crusade.
Even they have been put to death,
still trying to help with final breath.
Kids raised and trained to fight,
unless we stop and do whats right.
How desperate must they become?
Before the killing is finally done.
Author notes
Prompt; War
A contest entry
- In A World of War( for older teens-adults) for the gore picture by Cari Cullen.
300 points, ended December 2, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Speak out! by Luna Argintie.
930 points, ended September 9, 2008, 205 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Hello (won't say your name as this is in a contest; I am learning, ahhaha).
Your piece is a graphic no holds barred presentation of the horrors of war with a strong moral stance. Although an emotional piece it doesn’t come across as whiney, i.e. over the top. Like a war correspondent who although obviously perturbed is not trying to get too emotionally involved in it. Or a social commentator who understands what some humans are like. This understanding is shown in the last two lines, because you ask a valid question. How much to one extreme do people need to go before they say this is too much. Well that is how I read it. A good piece and I wish you well in this contest.
My regards.
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I love how you used a question as your title. That works really well. Great poem here, very well written!
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Wow, this poem is just amazing. The imagery and emotion you put into this, it's just fantastic. This is really, really powerful and strikes a chord because it's hard to believe this really does go on in our world.
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Spot On!!!
This is a point brilliantly made. Babies dying before they are born for me says everything. Thank you for sharing this Pink. x
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You used very powerful diction to create a powerful message. I like it.
Thank you for entering my contest -
Hey you thanks for entering again!!!!!!!!! Just like last time it was really good
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Its a great poem. Some of the rymes are mildly forced but requited to continue the though. I have the same problem with some of my poems. My personal opinions is this should have taken the gold but Im not the judge. Great Poem!!!
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Wow !This is deep and intense. You speak so much truth in this poem. Power, war and death. Brilliant!!
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Brilliant!! The rhyme isn't forced, it just flows with natural cadence which suits the subject matter. Really well done.. vivd, thought provoking and excellent for the prompt.
This one's a winner!
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wow, this is great I love the rythming theme goood job, loves the imagery!
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War Arghhhh... Should be no such thing. Excellent Poem Dear.
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