Unnamed Ex Lover

I know, I shouldn't be saying any of these things.
But let's just get down to it.
I miss you.
I miss your silly little dances.
I miss your nerdy hobbies.
I miss your warmth.
I miss you touch.
I miss your smile.
I've thought about you day and night for the past couple of days. I even dreamed about you last night...
Every where I go...there you are.
You're in the song playing on the radio that I know is one of your favorites.
You're in the little red-headed boy in the store.
You're in the Applebee's commercial on t.v.
You're in shower when I close my eyes and wish you were there to hold me.
Why I miss you? I have no idea.
I keep having to remind myself what I did and why we're not together.
I keep having to stop myself from calling you and asking if I came back could things be the same? Please? I'd do anything.

But I have to stop myself.

It was nice to pretend I was over you for awhile. I actually fooled myself for a bit. I actually thought everything was better this way.

I guess this is what you always wanted me to understand. You were doing everything you could and more doesn't really exist. Now having less makes me want to beg and tell you I understand now, but I know it's too late...

You always wanted to make me feel beautiful and I believe you're the only one who ever could...time after time you're words ring in my head. It's the sound of you telling me I was beautiful even after we were no longer together. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes me feel better.

Everything I have of yours is still in the place it was when I first got here and put it in it's place. I can't touch it. It's become a part of the walls and carpet...unmovable.

You're a sweetheart...even after everything I can't hate you. I'd give anything to see your face at my door like old times, throw my arms around you and give you one of our legendary kisses.

I'd send this to you...but I'm trying not to interfere with your life anymore...If you read this I want to be because you come on here, the place where we met, and you read my poems when I have new ones. You read them because a part of you is still curious about me...if not, so be it.

Well, I'll love you, forever, like I said I would.