I was not a named storm
in anyone else's life ...
yet you struggled
to break through
the cumulonimbus rage
where winds buffeted you
as I cried over inconsequential,
self damaging,
soul crushing woes.
You must have loathed
the pressure of me pushing you away,
the atmospheric force of
jaded pain in my past,
but still you persisted.
I could not help my reaction,
the inevitable caresses
stirring the core of my path,
the sensual persistence
as my body opened to you,
as your fingers reached out
to touch the softness,
the reluctant flow of need.
With that final boundary broken
you finally broached the eye,
that calm interlude
with almost no sound
that follows the high pitched screams
of my category five wall.
I was not a named storm
in anybody else's life
but yours,
but you were the only one
to fly into me
to try and read me.
No one else would have done so,
but then I have never been
a challenge for the faint hearted.
Author notes
I chose a subject I am passionate about - weather and more specifically, the big boy of all storms, hurricanes. The other subject is love. This is for my husband, who braved my category 5 issues and survived to teach me the depth of love I always knew existed.
A contest entry
- the shape of love by Nicolette.
1950 points, ended December 3, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewrites- ROUNDS!!! by seasonsoflove.
525 points, ended December 18, 2007, 44 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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wow... there does need to be more people who care enough about other people to get past the outer image people put out there and to really get to know them past it all... this is very beautiful and touching... great job on this and best of luck in this contest!
~rocklover91 -
I really liked the idea of this poem and the opening line of “I was not a named storm…” is so very original and powerful. What I also liked is the way you stayed with the metaphor of weather and storms and carried the central theme through from beginning to end. I think this is a very creative take on the contest theme and you’ve done very well to show the shaping and changing qualities of love – a powerful force indeed – and in this case the force that could quiet the inner-storms. The closing stanza made me smile…. Loved the sincerity of voice there…. I liked this – well done. Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you Nicolette. I always love your comments. It means a lot when you love something. Thanks for the opportunity to enter one of your delightful contests. As always, it was a pleasure.
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well now ... what can one say to this other than touche! ~standing ovation~
you have intermixed all of your favourite things here and have come out aces my friend
loved this!
Congrats to your Husband as well for putting up with all the crap huh? lol - i am certain that if you speak to my Other Half He will embrace your encouragement
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Thanks hun. Your comment made me smile. My Husband does put up with a lot, but hey, He loves me and that is all that matters.
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This is beautiful, powerful and moving. Just like a storm... Wonderful imagery.
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Thank you Raven. Yes storms are beautiful beasts ...
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Very powerful write. This seemed to have a personification feeling to the piece. The words made me think of the storm describing itself through it's point of view. good luck in the contest.
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Thanks Arzab. Yes storms do have voices and they aren't always just destructive. Glad you liked it.
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so very nice here, a storm, and a struggle. Wonderful writing, honest and expressive voice; so well done to the theme. Best of luck in Nicolette's contest...PK
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Thank you PK. I love the fact that you are always honest in your comments. Thanks again.
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