This man is a drug
has the name of Trip.
He lives like a slug,
he lives like a dick.
He overcharges to compensate
for things he should but won't do.
Always in an intoxication state,
drugs are his food.
Trip has lost his ambition
scared now to even try.
Depending on intoxication
but eventually, too soon, he'll die.
This woman is a mother,
a sister, and a daughter.
But in alcohol she is smothered,
beer is her water.
She overspends on 18packs,
some coke, and some weed.
She's finally impacted
when she can't get what she needs.
Her daughter now scarred
and her life is a mess.
Still she puts up a guard,
her problem stands unaddressed.
This girl is seventeen,
raised by old hippies.
In a town with a Norman Rockwell gleam,
beside a drug infested music city.
At 14 she started smoking pot,
then she tried many drugs after.
Intoxication wasn't what she thought
left the hard drugs to kids with no laughter.
Now she smokes pot everyday,
no matter how innocent it seems.
She's addicted now, psychologically.
Intoxication burns down your dreams.
Author notes
Written September 18, 2007. This hits home hard and every single line is so true. This is one of the best pieces I've written due to, not only does it flow pretty well, but it's everything I would have hoped to come out. Sometimes describing my scattered thoughts is too difficult to put into a poem, especially when I want it to be good.
A contest entry
- The real World.......prewrites allowed so ENTER by trace3grls.
525 points, ended November 24, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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sadly alot of peoples parents are alcoholics..
My mom used to drink when i was younger but i was the only one that knew she would only do it when my dad was at work and my older sister was at school and my mom would keep my home from school cause she knew i wouldn't ever tell my father i started getting trashed with my mom at the age of five, and then at the age of seven i started to smoke pot with my brother in law... and yet because of all that i'm now a drug addict and i do see it hurting other and my self its just the drugs got a hold of me.. i want to have my own kids so i have a reason to be there. -
thanks for your comment on my poem. this one struck me because we wrote about the same topics. although its difficult to stop, drugs "bring down your dreams" and you explained it so well. love your rhyme scheme also. a poem like this should not be ignored, just like a bad drug habit. it's beautifully written, relatable and brings forth an important message.
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this sadly is the truth out there these days..... great write
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Yuo can tell you believe in wht you are saying, and that is what gives this poem passion.
Some of this is very good but other parts, I feel, let down the rest of it. The first to fourth lines were not great, they felt a little forced.
However, you have still done what you wanted to do, and I think overal you have done it well. It doesn't come across as confusing, and I feel you have put your thoughts down well.
I liked the final stanza best, to me it had the best flow without feeling forced.
It is sad that situations like this are so true.
A good write here!
Sunny
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