That feeling the first time we met,
My body quivering, that tingle I felt deep down in my soul.
When I had your child, outside in the cold.
No time for a hospital, You were there holding my hand,
The softness of your touch, my pain slowly ceased.
True love is us after twenty years of sacrifices,
Twenty years of hardships that made us stronger.
True love is us holding hands as we die together.
True love is when you refuse to die apart.
Lying there beside each other,eye to eye,lips to lips,
As we depart.
Author notes
I want honest opinions.
A contest entry
- QUICKIE/ 5poets, 30 minutes by Think2wice.
300 points, ended November 17, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Roseycheeks15.
300 points, ended November 23, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I want honest opinions on this.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Wow Life and Love
20 years of marriage this could be true. Many do die together for they can't live without each other. Or one dies and soon after the other one does too. That scares me for the reality for I've been married 28 years. Anyways the title True Love is perfect. The first line That feeling the first time we met. (I could relate to this line). Then the last line Lying there beside each other, eye to eye, lips to lips, As we depart. This would make a good movie. Beautiful Write.
Blessings to you these Holidays
Kelle Marie,
stavykm
-
Wonderful!
Deep love is expressed with the words you chose here.
I love the tenderness of his holding you hand and
how it makes the pain bearable and then you go on and tell us that he also makes life bearable. Wonderful!
There are many stories of couples who die within days of each other...I have known two couples (elderly) like that. True love is a deep commitment. Brava! Jane
-
This is a great poem . Good luck!
-
This is really wonderful if it is true It is a great blessing that you are still truely in love. Excellent poem great take of the prompt and good luck
-
Very sweet - this is very sentimental and more so where it is so special for you. These are the moments we hold on to and cherish and these are the reasons why we love! Well done, and thank you for editing!
-
I think is is so very sweet that you still have your true love in your life with you until the very end. I really enjoyed reading this but at the same time I was hoping you could tell me a bit more about how you felt when you first met, or what gives you the feel of true love after all this time during these events that took place. Thank you for entering my contest and you are more than welcome to keep or revise this entry just a little more towards what I am looking for. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in this contest!
-
This is absolutely beautiful. I can identify with this kind of love. This is how I want to die, holding hands with the one I love
True love is us holding hands as we die,
Together,
True love is when you refuse to die apart.
beautiful stanza best of luck to you!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
