Steamrolling into oblivion
Shots and beers to those who stand
I'd barrel to the bar
Two fisted, downing any brand
The midnight sun would somehow glimmer
The ladies sweet ,thru musty sights
And whiskey flowed as others shivered
I'd stand alone , Scotched delight
I never thought to much about it
My string of greed a lasting thing
And inbetween the bouts of blunder
I'd view my world as vile and mean
There was a time or two, when challenged
I rose above that foolish bloke
And cast aside the lesser drunkard
To down two quarts, Liver soaked
But came the day when I was sober
And candor harpooned this broken tart
Was I a man or just a harlot
That poisoned hope and broke a heart
By Bob Fox
A contest entry
- Prewrites welcome.... by Luckintheshadows.
500 points, ended September 10, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Ohhh Bob
it takes a strong and wise person to admit their failings, and we all have them. You have opened yourself up here, written the poem I think more to yourself than anyone else and it shows your regrets so well. Having read your latest poem I think you are at last forgiving yourself, we are all only human,
God bless you dear friend
Cherry
xxxx
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I totally need to print this and give it to my mother (an alcoholic who 'doesn't have a problem')..this is absolutely brilliant! I can sort of relate to this, there's a soul deep honesty here that simply cannot be ignored. Thank you very much for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
Bob, my man, I could definitely relate to this powerful and painfully honest poem. For many years, I was that soldier. Thankfully, I haven't had a drink for 14 years and I don't ever want to go back there!
Take care,
Bill
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A strong and honest write straight from the heart-well done Bob.x
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YOU WERE QUITE HONEST IN THIS WRITE...AND I AM GLAD THERE CAME A DAY WHEN YOU WERE SOBER..AND HOPEFUL YOU DID NOT POISON HOPE AND BROKE TO MANY HEARTS.
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Dearest Bob... this is Fantastic!!!!!!
Such a humble write, I love this piece. Such honesty
and it is so nice to see you are not blaming others
as I see so many do...
Great imagery throughout
I have several friends who need to read this I think
Love,
Delila
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Delila
Thanks and by all means if it helps send it to those . I am ok with that my friend
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this is fantastic. Good, strong and very real-life, blood-soaked action here. Not a lot of poems I read in these days have any substance to them, but this really stands on a leg of its own. Bravo. I love the way you describe the darkness and brutal vice that surrounds a world like this. So bubbly with a truth that we all can take into our own accounts, I would assure.
I love the last stanza. It's wonderful and bitter, and I couldn't like it more. It fits perfectly and makes a profound twist and ending to the story you've weaved here. I have nothing bad to say about this- it's, again, fantastic and publishable in my book. Cheers to you.
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Scion
I thank you & the reaason it sounds real is because it is. It is about myself as are many of my poems. Again thanks
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This is full of emotion ... and regrets. Looking back doesn't change anything ... except our perspective on tomorrow. Forgiving ourselves ... letting go of the demons ... is the hardest thing to do.
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regrets
So true for it cused so many hearts to be wounded
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The good old days huh? I too used to view the world through beer (and tequila) goggles. Can't alway remember much but I'm told I had a good time. Had to give it up though, I figured my luck would run out sooner than later. And the price tag would be more than I could afford... Once again you have harpooned me with your honesty...
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love this!!!! As always, speaking of raw truth. It can be earth shattering, it seems at the time, to face our demons.
another great write
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