in my bedroom
a monotone sound
ticks tacks
In a list
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Hi, just wanted to say hello away from the fracas. Hi. Yeah, that's not really very original. I did want to say Thank you though. For what? Everything. Absolutely everything.
What else? That is it. Sorry about the tick tock. -
Good
To see Time, watch the second hand of a clock go around!
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Time seems to be a recurrent theme in poems I've read today.... imagine that! As always your observations are timely and meaningful.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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I'm reminded of some very bad memories when the sound of the clock reminded and accompanied thoughts that weren't pleasant. For me the poem is primarily about waiting...and of course isolation, though I understand that it's probably not meant to be read it that deeply. Still, we bring to a poem our memories and experiences and those were mine.
American's say "ticktock." Well, at least I do. Oh and tick tack may be one word.
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At night it gets so quiet that even a drip from a bath or sink blends in with the tick tock sound and composes a disturbing monotone... tick tock tip, tick tock tip, tip tip tick tock
You've expressed your observation very well in three lines...
Good job Mari...
mina
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Wow sensational haiku here... you have done a wonderful job of portraying the picture in this form, well done
Karen -
That's annoying huh, that clock tick-tacking constantly and keeping you awake
at least, that's what I have when I hear it...
lol
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"Tick tocks"
Maybe I always look for the worst scenario, but I see sadness here too. It could of course just speak about quiet, and it's quality of silence, it could also mean that it's too much silence, and you are looking for something to interrupt it.
Of course it is probably just what it appears to be...a poem of observation...of the sound breaking up the silence.
Though we might argue the meaning, you've shown me an indelible picture.
#100
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LOLLLLLL Very fun write.
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Hi Don! I had this one reviewed by you long ago in one of your haiku class. Good to know you still like it
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the annoying sound of time. dont you just want to smash that clock?? lol
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yours goes tick
and mines goes tock
so if put together
we have full clock
So I'll take this time
to wish you well
May your days be mild
filled with sweet smells
Hugs...Eddy
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nice one. how life passes by, in contemplation, in reflection, in anxiety, in imagination, and the one constant is changing time, which stops for nothing. so much summarized in this beautiful ku. well written, mari!
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the haiku queen reigning supreme again...empowering
I love it! I love how it gives a story...even in it shortness of words
the complete thought is there...as I'm reading it i feel like i was in the very scenario...since everybody could relate to this...
i love the feel of it...the quietness...tick tacks
like every moment is absorb in it plus it leaves anyone's imagination
I really really love how you do haiku...well you inspired me to try to write one.
miss you
Anna Lee
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haiku is difficult for me, finding expression, this is a wonderful poem, place, actions narrative, meaning and somthing to think about.. a lingering thought...Excellent...PK
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I have been reading a few haikus written in my dialect. And I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I did. This form is not as easy as it looks because one has to make sure each word counts, without waste and at the same time illustrate a certain picture. Mari, I think you've done a perfect job here. I don't write haikus myself but I always admire those who can weave such a masterpiece like this with very few words.
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Thanks dear Rhona! You should try one, I fell in love with this form few years back when reading haikumonk's haiku, then followed 3 of his haiku classes, but it's writing and trying that get us to get the form right. Besides that, you know I like short poems, and can't have shorter than haiku.
Hope all is well with you
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That would seem a little too quiet for me. I'd be happier with a full blown symphony, rich in harmony. This leaves me somewhat sad after reading, but enjoyable nonetheless.
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