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Autumn

Golden leaves fall gently to the floor
A hush falls through the once busy path
Few walked by this weather beaten trail today
Even less stop to admire the last traces of beauty
Before winter cruelly snatches away the brilliant colors
Replacing it with plain, dull white
A young couple lay together under a nearly bare tree
Wind shuffles the leaves a bit
The trees are sad to see them go
A loud screech frightens the leaves
The last leaf leaves its home
The young couples in love are torn apart
Icy tears gently fall down the girls face
An angry glare on the boy
Matches the one on the girl’s mother
The coldness of winter takes over the park
Just as much as it does the young couple's heart

A contest entry

What messege did you get out of this piece?

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • crivanea silver member
    October 4, 2008

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    lovely poem..beautiful but sad..thnx for the entry..best of luck

    Wind shuffles the leaves a bit
    The trees are sad to see them go


  • myusikah
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's sad. I recieved the message of a broken heart beneath all the beauty. Things are not what they seem at times. What appears cheerful to one, may be despair for another


  • storiesuntold gold member
    April 21, 2008

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    Excellent write here

    Oh such depth and meaning I love the way you spin your poetry it teaches so much of the suroundings about us and how we should all breath in the beauty within all the seasons for they are Gods paint brush in action and no two days are ever alike


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    March 6, 2008
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    Wonderful write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.


    whisper


  • daviscth silver member
    March 3, 2008

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    The imagery in this piece is awesome. It have me shivering at the ending. Thanks for posting in my contest.


  • Naridill
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful flow - you have a nice serene feeling around this piece that just works well within itself and more. Beautifully done.

    Thanks for entering,


  • GypsyEyes
    January 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    short simple and beautiful! you have an wondeful poem here filled with losts of imagery! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!
    NineTailedFox


  • Dancing the Rumba
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so heartbreaking it broke my heart! Hehehehe... I know I'm wierd... This is actually very good!
    Vivien


  • Candy6
    December 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Fall and spring are my favorite seasons. Spring is beautiful,...seeing the colorful wildflowers, and so on. I like when the leaves changes its beautiful color.


  • DrunkenRam
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Guilty

    Sad, I love fall and winter, The underlying tale seems to tell about the Autumn of one's loving.
    I like it. Good Luck to ya.


  • Melissa Burns
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks again for entering! I have to say it was hard to judge yours b/c I really, really liked it. It reminds me SO much of a time before. You did so wonderful, keep writing! I will have another contest soon - please feel free to enter Enjoy the win.


  • Melissa Burns
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    *~*~ Thank you very much!!! *~*~* For entering my contest! I enjoyed reading and good luck!!! Hope you had fun entering!!!


  • islekine gold member
    November 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I think in the last line...you mean

    young couple's heart?...fix and let me know.
    Thanks for entering..
    Write on!
    *PEACE*

1 - 14 of 14