Come stand right here beside me, I'll show you what I see
A picture of contentment and creativity
Where people work together, a true and happy band
A vision of the future that spreads across the land.
The light of love is shining for all who want to see
Where positive emotions, kiss negativity
Rains fall in gentle rivers to wash away all fears
The sun holds out a tissue to wipe away the tears.
The trees stand close together, with branches held up high
To welcome winds of changes and wave the storms goodbye
Their golden leaves are shining, reflecting brand new dreams
Whilst starlight chases darkness, to dance amongst moonbeams.
Come stand right here beside me, it's time to let fear go
I'll open up the window, you'll feel the breezes flow
Surrounding you with pure air, to help you breathe once more
Then look into the distance, to see what life is for.
A contest entry
- I need HOPE by yourbentangel.
400 points, ended November 19, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What a beautiful heart and insightful soul that you must have. This was one of the best that I have read so far. Thank you for entering and good luck!
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Nice job on this poem.....The best I've read all week....I wish I new what life was about/for.....but eh I'll find out.....good write!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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cute
good write -
this is beautiful a very lovely flow throughout enjoyable read thank-you for sharing you are a very talented writer great job.
lovely to read something uplifting -
"To welcome winds of changes and wave the storms goodbye"
I think the word "change" should be singular instead of plural. Too many words that end in "s"
winds, changes, storms...
Your rhyme is masterfully written. It actually sings.
Instead of using "shining" again in this stanza as you did in the first. Maybe the word "mirrors"
"Their golden leaves are [mirrors], reflecting brand new dreams"
This line is a perfect poetic line and gives the reader a wonderful image.
"Whilst starlight chases darkness, to dance amongst moonbeams."
Loved it!
Absolutely adored the last stanza.
All in all you poem is filled with great meataphors and felt deep within the heart. It has rhythm, cadence, and is a poignant work of inspiration. Thanks for the feature, and good luck in the contest with this poem as your entry.
Candice
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Uffdah!
I think I've found in you one of my new favorites. This was/is truly beautiful. You know, it's nice to see someone that can use a rhyming pattern so beautifully and gracefully when it seems so many on this site look down on rhyme in poetry, when, yo me, when well done, nothing to me can be as beautiful. And this truly is...
Beuutifully penned,
And Beautifully penned also,
Evan
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Thankyou
I am honoured that you think so my friend.I appreciate your comments and look forward to talking to you more, Ros
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