Mind echoing on empty,
a pill closer to demise.
Unbearable pain eases
as another memory dies.
Unable to think clearly,
tears clouding the vision.
Months spent in fear,
mindless indecision.
Feeling utterly inadequate,
can't do anything right.
Confirmed by the fact,
I woke up here tonight.
Months spent healing,
sink in dark despair.
Everything except,
the soul they repair.
Years have now passed,
time truly does mend.
I wish at the time,
I'd had a good friend.
Author notes
Option; suicide, based on a true event.
A contest entry
- Ex Suicidals, Suicidals, Attempted Suicide.--TEENS/ADULTS by warrior-eagle.
300 points, ended December 19, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre Written Rhyme by piccola.
900 points, ended February 5, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Very well said, great wording and emotion, and reads very nicely. Easy to relate to....friends do seem to vanish when you are going through a depression.
best wishes in the contest.
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good friends can mean so much at such dark times. We need someone who's been there though because I've found that others never get the concept of suicide and only want to place blame or judge ... and that isn't what we need. I hope those times are over for you. This was written well and the rhyme is outstanding. Thank you for your entry.
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You have been through so much. I wished I had known you during that time because I would of walked with you every step of the way.I am so glad those days are behind you. You've written such a beautifully sad dark poem and intense and heart wrenching.I am so glad you didn't succeed my friend.
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I liked this.
feel the emotion with suicide
I know how it feels...
great write and good luck!!
*HxRxG* -
This is great.
Good luck in the contest -
oooo very depressing and sad!!! LOVE IT!!!! just what i like to hear! yes im aware how that sounds but nonetheless you just scored brownie points so be happy!
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3
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wow, the ending of this just really got me. I know what it's like to not have a good friend... or actually any friends. A couple of years ago I was severely depressed and none of my friends associated with me anymore because of it. It was horrible. So I was really able to relate to you at that part. The other parts (that you explained in the Author Notes but not exactly in the poem), I wasn't able to relate to, but I felt that I was able to understand it. Especially with the emotion put into it, it was very easy to understand. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck!
Alex -
*hug*
i hope things have gotten better. the soul never recovers from much. it remembers alot, that every one tells us it doesnt.
it seems that you have overcome alittle. for you were able to step out and tell your story of all this. i have never truly tried suicide and never had any miscarriages but know so many peple that have suffered both. i am glad i have read this. thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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This is heart-wrenching,
but hun your descriptions
are incredible. The words that
that stuck with me-- (tho they're all equally great)
is "Feeling utterly inadequate,
can't do anything right.
Confirmed by the fact,
I woke up here tonight."
Awesome!
what I like most about this piece
is it's abstract nature, I understand
the topic is a suicide attempt, however
you could be speaking about
anything from a one-
night-stand to drug addiction...
that's what I love about abstract writing
it applies itself to personal experience.
Tho' I'm really sorry you went
through this awful nightmare
this piece is awesome !!!!
I love it!!!
~Pastel
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Very bleak indeed... but such a well written and vivid description of what it can feel like.
I have been there my friend... I'm glad we're both still standing that's for sure.
You've done a great job with this piece... sorry for the past pain!
x
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