dear you,
never give up
on anyones love
or any of my trust.
never give up
on our love
for each other
never give up
on one another.
dear you,
dont you dare
pop that pill
just because
your over the hill.
dear you,
dont use that gun
on you for killing
just remember youre loved
and should be healing.
dear you,
do something good
with your life to help
others or yourself
and take away the welp.
dear you,
dont cut your arms
stress it realieves
but to you it does harms.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This makes one pause and ponder,
I can appreciate your message,
thanks for sharing dear one.
Dad Weaver~
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i really like that... would u mind if i shared this with my friends?
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Very Good And Emotional
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awww... brillantly written!
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wow, after reading this i def. wouldnt give up. very well done
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wow...powerful o-o...
im not good at this so 93/10 :3?
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i cannot believe,
that i did not comment this already,
because it REALLY deserves a comment.
a really really good comment,
too bad i cant explain how truley amazing this is.
you awesome, gurrl. -
Very sweet. Very well written, makes me wonder who the "you" you speak of is though. This is a great write.
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Very nice
well done n very nicely written -
wow, thats really good.
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Great work and so inspiring!
Lovely thought you penned here!
Jeremy0826 -
wow! that was amazing
i want it lol -
Very good
This is a wonderful poem
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Your outlook on this person is like that of a guardian angel. I see the message you're trying to get across and it's tragic, beautiful, and very touching. However, I thought I might give you some constructive criticism and that's only because I see a lot of your potential shining through in this poem.
When I was your age and still in highschool, I would write poetry like one would write an entry in a diary. It was my way of reaching out to someone.
But it was also away that I could express a love for the way a couple of words could speak your whole heart in 2 seconds.
You can do this too.
Just try not to be so profound.
Sit and write, but before you do, close your eyes and find the one thought that makes your heart glow or even break because using that emotion makes great poetry, especially when others know it came straight from you.
I hope I've done some good for you.
Keep writing. You have Talent.
Sincerely,
Brittany-Deanne
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I love it. The words kept moving as you read. Good Job
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A wonderful writ filled with support , inspiration and hope. Loved the flow and depth. Thanks for sharing
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pound away
Great flow to this work Vanessa. I love raw honesty, just throw it out there and see what it brings...
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nice flow i liked it. Its sad 2 see so much more self harm these days. the ppl i talk 2 that self harm seem so cool and nice. they just need 2 know they r loved. nice write
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Wow, that flowed through quick, haha. An interesting tone... nice!
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DEEPLY HEART-FELT!!!!
Sadly this is happening more and more to people these days. As it happens to one we care about it hurts not only them but us also. A deep and emotional write!
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dear you,
dont cut your arms
stress it realieves
but to you it does harms.
you took me there in the truth of your vision..such a hopefulness and such a impact you brought to me..I can't express the effect of it...Indeed you made me to think through your thought provoking verse here....that what a truthful flow and the touch of the openness is seen in your wonderful words ..
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