I don't want to live
I shout at the sky
Not noticing the beauty
That passes me by
Please end this pain
I yell into the wind
Not noticing the warm air
That kisses my chin
I shout to the heavens
That I wish to die
Not noticing the diamonds
Sparkling in the sky
Too wrapped in my ego
And my self made pain
To take in the love
And start living again
Author notes
Written October 21st, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Beautiful
Absoloute beauty. Good juxtapose and very well thought out. The imagery is breathtaking. -
This reminds me of a poem I wrote a long, loonnnng time ago about this very same topic. How I never noticed the beauty and joy in life because I was too busy wallowing in the pain. Well done, thanks for entering
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brilliant
I love this poem! Its great and the use of phrases and words were brilliant. My favourite line was 'not noticing the warm air' 'that kisses my chin' to tell u the truth these lines sound quite calming and realxing! Kind of simliar to my poem called 'dream world', ur poem also has a great flow! -
WOW... this is like an agnst poem with a twist. i mean its sorta got a hint of hope to it. and makes you wanna stop and look at the good things in the world around us. i am very impressed here hun. tis a terrific idea and tremoudously well written. i cannot wait to see more of yours. keep it up k!
hugs
Nikki -
feels like being ready for a rebirth...
liked this
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wow this was a great poem i agree with some of the other comments, i love the method you used to erite this poem, and i also agree that most people are too wraped up in them selves to notice what is going on around them, thanx for that excellent poem.
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What an insightful poem. It really makes you wonder about how blind people can be when there hearts are filled with pain.
Love D.L.
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Ohhhh..this is good! So often, people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice what is going on around them. If people would stop sometimes, and just take a breath, then maybe they would get that second wind they need.
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This was a great write. I really like the method you use to express this piece, the contradictio
n of your own feelings of not noticing those things, obviously if they wern't noticed by you than you wouldn't have mentioned it. I also think that your rhyming gave a great flow to this piece and fit in well...
top write.
keep groovin.
1 - 9 of 9





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