I‘d truly meant to bar the door
put love to rest in peaceful memory,
life gone by yet going on;
answered knocking sounds
so many eyes set on falling,
bone deep coldness survived
spring fogs and summer hazes.
Courage came
in frail disquise
wispy wanting winds
lifting fond feelings,
like swirling pieces of autumn;
distance diminished
edges sounded softer,
so unexpected yet
welcomed warming.
Walls sagged to fall
now unguarded, garden
buds upon swollen stems
began blooming,
folded flowers to open;
softness
sent splendor,
honeyed eyes
dripping dewy morning.
I’d truly meant to close the door
lock keys even from me;
love found its way, like dreamy sleep
to seep into night; forming
filling an empty place.
La vita ha avuta sempre una canzone,
ora dolce che qualcuno
ha parole scritte.
Author notes
sweet someone notes
Life always had a song,
now sweet someone
has written words.
In a list
A contest entry
- the shape of love by Nicolette.
1950 points, ended December 3, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ideas of simple by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 10, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
beautiful... i like the conflicted feeling i get from this - it is so easy to identify with - so well inspired by and conveyed within this piece... there is an empathy to the conflict, almost as if it's invited, because it is so much a part of human nature, so inevitable... so necessary...
lovely...
-
-
you changed your name... ok at least i can spell this one[smile]...inner conflict here, yes; one that comes to us all in some form, i think... thank you for the lovely comment...PK
-
-
Nice feel on this.regretful thoughts. Letting the door of your heart stay open. Always welcomes unwanted visitors. Thanks 4 your entry.
-
Mastery of imagery and meatphors. I really love this.
Good luck and thank you for entering! -
-
Thank you LL
thank you for noticing the metaphors and imagery, and for hosting a great contest...always wonderful to hear from you...PK
-
-
beautiful poetry....
-
I really love the alliteration in the piece, too many times people try to overdo but this flows beautiful -
and Nicolette is right, when read aloud this poem is perfect. The sounds and the emotions truly come to life. -
When read aloud this poem falls nicely on the senses – and some wonderful touches of alliteration here! I loved the concept of this poem – almost an ode to the changing qualities and power of love. The first and last stanzas were truly great – the first stanza immediately pulls the reader into this poem. The partial repetition or echo at the end kind of “seals” this poem and again emphasizes the way love opens doors - or even build doors where no doors have been. I told you earlier that I liked this – and I like it still - love's sweet song this is. Thank you so much for this entry.
~ Nicolette
-
The more I read, the more I like this form.
Another well done work!
Mari
-
This is beautiful! Once again you have captured the core of emotion and the sweet (dolce) tug of what love does to a person's heart . . . I've read this aloud many times now and, this is just my opinion, but I think it works without the second to last stanza. What you included in Italian offers a lovely conclusion . . . I see that it is a revision though, so I'm not sure how it used to read . . . best of luck in the contest!
-
excellent very beautiful, its amazing I actually could relate perfectly to the piece, and that makes it stronger on the eye of the reader, i know what it feels like want to lock your heart away so it wont ever get hurt again, but you put this in such a beautiful way that love doesn't sound so awful.. and better image to create connection with love than spring, and the blossom... excellent job!
-
Just beautiful, so many wonderful images! Is it really possible to build walls strong enough around ourselves to prevent love and if it was, wouldn't we just want to tear them down!?! However, don't we all at some point say...no more!
Lovely write!
Michelle
. Rewarded 6
-
ummmm. how beautiful is this ... How fantastic is it that the door remains open? This is an inspired piece. I love the way you quietly infuse your reader with the subtleties of the words you chose. I just love this. Spectacular work.
-
I've always tried to keep my doors locked too, but I seem to always leave the damn windows open~ lol.
Sigh, very, very nice.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
