The rain was poring down
The tears and the rain running down my face
He can't see that when I look at him
I'm filled with disgrace
I have to fake a smile
Pretend to be happy
Hiding the true feelings
Never really unhappy
But also never really filled with joy
Fake a smile
Showing the world that I am really here
Never waiting to go on trial
I'll never be what he wants or needs
So that’s why I sadly smile through each day
Crying more and more
But I'll make it on my own time in my own way.
Author notes
Sadly Smiling Through By One Less Reason
A contest entry
- You Favourite Song by Beating.
300 points, ended November 27, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
wat ya think? need some work?
Comments
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very sad indeed. I can't say I know that song, but I like what you did with the title. Crying, but faking a smile. I think a lot of us know that feeling. It's a tough world. Great job!
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I love this piece. Its very sad, then at the end you throw in the last line.
"But I'll make it on my own time in my own way."
and with that you've placed hope in your poem. Thats why i like it so much. Great job.
Love,Liz
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I really like your work. Rain is a great metaophore, you could try using some others and still keep the honesty and integrity that your work portrays. For example I thought that the line, "Never waiting to go on trial," could have been a lot stronger with a metaphore, either as a replacement, or following as a support to the statement. Your raw emotions echo my own a lot from another time, remember that poems, like people can evolve, your words can be a great skeliton to future pieces and still kept as message boards to express your current struggles.
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