As if struck I fell back, hand thrown to my chest
Your words echoing in my mind; your eyes holding sorrow
you move as if to embrace me, but I throw my body
Foreword and retch; Sobs shake my frame, almost epileptically
You reach for me again and I scream,
“Don’t touch me!” clutching my stomach
Visions of you.. of her… together
I collapse to the floor, tears falling
And you can almost hear the glass shards
Of my broken heart
Author notes
Here is your prompt…
Shards of Glass…
In a list
A contest entry
- Shards of Memories by PersuingHappyness.
300 points, ended November 24, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
On the tip of your tongue, and in front of your eyes... What is it?
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Not bad at all man, if only it was a bit longer.
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...damn! It's brilliant.
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...damn! It's brilliant.
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Very Intense
You said alot in a few short lines however I think your flow was misguided maybe if you were to add more paragraphs you could have build up the intensity rather than just reading a paragraph as it is. Or used a different body style I think that would have given it more depth. The content however is riveting. Thank you for sharing this poem
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I did enjoy this read. However, to be quite honest, I feel it falls along the theme of cliche descriptions of heartbreak. I know that I personally have written many things quite similar to this. Along the lines of glass shards being symbolic of a broken heart. This was a good read, I won't lie. But I feel it would have been better had you given a bit more of yourself to it.
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wow i love it!!
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nice
this was nice, but i feel that i could of heard more. i didn't feel all the emotion in it but recieving a broken heart. there's more to a broken heart than that.
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... Woww.
It's so unbelievably emotional, drawing you in from literally the first few words. I love the idea of the literall heartbreak; of the idea of glass shards. Simply amazing.
I like the shortness of it as well. It is short, that's true, but no feeling - or meaning - is lost in it.
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Very emotional. Lots of feeling in this. A good write overall.
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simply...it's gr8 !!
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wow! truely this was a masterpiece deserving of the gold trophy! very strong and powerful with raw anger and full blown emotions. painfully emotional with the knowledge of betrayal by someone you love. every blow by blow line is very vivid and filled with heartache. i will have to add you on my favorites list so that i can keep on reading your wonderful poems. it's a great read! keep up the great work!
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Nice!
So much power here, and every sentence perfectly executed. No time wasted as you absorb the reader straight into it from the first words. Amazing!
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oooh chilling, and heartbreaking...a brilliant write though me like it...
keep writing and sorry for not commenting much
kelborn
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eeeee this seems perfect, I'm listening tothe song " Fancy " by Reba , and reading this poem ~ Total chills. Congrats on the well deserved gold
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YAYness lol...
I love this poem so much.... you and merv are awesome when it came to this prompt you both hit it wonderfully. Thank you so much for entering I loved this peice... welcome to the next round...
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no...no words...i am speachless... that was absolutely phenominal. It was a masterpiece every line, every emotion, every word. I am extrememly glad I read it. I just simply don't know what to say. I wish I could give you more. It all flowed so smoothly and spoke so strongly and powerfully. It was vivid, and clear, it was consice, and not at all random. A fantastic write. you deserve a gold. Great write. Keep up the great poetry. And I'm bookmarking this (if I can figure out how) because it struck me so hard.
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Now this one just about crippled me!! I have not had to live through this but I can imagine it would be me if Steven left me for another woman.... After I was done crying and dying, I would sweep up the shards of my broken heart and go straight for the gun!!! This was a well written masterpiece!!
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Wow. I love this, but hate the feelings you described. This is a powerful poem, with a great metaphor of your heart being made of glass. Hopefully this character, or you, will soon be mended back together with new inspiration. Great poem.
Silvos.
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Ooohh... I like this! This rocks my socks.
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