this story
Its a bit short but has its glory
Once when the nation was new
Grass with dew
Shots fired
Soldiers tired
Civil? Not close
Everyone watching;engrossed
What happened then
is starting again
our brothers and friends alike
are fighting for the nation alright
its all happened so fast
Its true
Repeats itself the past
What happens next Everyone wonders
We cant really take another blunder
all we can do is hope and pray
All of them come back okay
Author notes
notsotorturedartist
A contest entry
- PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
how is it?
Comments
-
Not one of your finest... It needs a lot of help. There are a lot of gramitical errors in your piece...
Title- 7
Diction- 6
Syntax- 4
Wowness factor- 5
Total- 22
Not so good,
~lumin -
?
who's your social studies teacher? you should show them this -
-
tell u l8r
-
Adding your comment:
