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Call Me When You're Sober

the only time you call
is when you need
no matter how much I cry
or how much I bleed
I travel far, I travel near
hoping that my cries you hear
wind blows hard
slaps my face
all I want
is your embrace
I hide behind my cape of red
wiping off the tears I shed
I hear a cry
no, tis not I
hungry wolves with hungry eyes
you stop them
stand before me in disguise
yes I know
I know the truth
of who is really you
I take revenge and slap you back
only for you to push me off track
before you kill me
I know you want me dead
I remove the hood from my head
you see me now yet you don't care
out of nowhere
a hunter kills you instead of me
thank god, this hunter set me free
he takes me into his arms
without any poetic words or silly charms
embraced in his arms I knew
as my soulmate said to me, "I love you".


Author notes

Call Me When You're Sober by Evanescence

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Antebellum
    November 13

    Edit | Reply
    I hear a cry
    no, tis not I
    hungry wolves with hungry eyes
    you stop them
    stand before me in disguise
    ............................
    wow. fantastic imagery. This is one of my favorite songe of hers. And this is a wonderful write. I love the ending here. Thanks for entering.


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    November 9

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic tribute to Evanescence! I loved the flow and the rhythm. It said so much. I so enjoy your works. ~gypsy~


  • BrokenAtBest
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering. I liked the way you made it flow and the imagery was nice. Keep it up.


  • Nienna Calmcacil
    September 16

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this line:

    "hungry wolves with hungry eyes"

    It was just great imagery. I imagined these giants wolves staring at me with golden eyes, contemplating on how I good I may taste with ketchup.

    I had a little issue with the fact that your poem didn't flow very well. I did like the imagery though, so good job with that.

    Thank you for entering.


    • songstress80
      October 19
      Edit | Reply
      I'm glad that I gave you such imagery and you in return give imagery back. That does sound interesting! Sorry you didn't feel any flow. Sometimes it happens to poets, but still makes a good write to me and others which is all that's important to me, so I'm good...lol! Thanks for your comment and thanks for reading! Hope to see ya again.


  • Ami
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    inspired by Amy lee? this is amazing great take with the song and awesome imagination in this

    Thank you so much for entering my contest and
    Good luck!

    -♥Amy♥


  • darkyinsoul
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Well done on flow and imagery
    thanks for the share
    Darky


  • Ami
    May 18
    Edit | Reply
    Was this inspired by Amy Lee?
    (Evanescence) She is awesome
    You did great with this

    • songstress80
      May 18
      Edit | Reply
      well it was intended for an evanescence contest, but it's very highly based on my one ex. thanks for your comment!!!


  • XLadyXVengeanceX
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i like it you did a good job keep it up


    • songstress80
      May 18
      Edit | Reply
      i'm glad you liked this poem and i will do my best to keep up the work


  • moonburndcheese
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a great write... very strong emotion is shown


    • songstress80
      May 18
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for your comment! my poems mean a lot to me especially ones dealling with past or present loves.


  • The Madman silver member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done and a deeply emotional and heartfelt tone set and followed throughout. i would think about one thing though...it is a bit hard to read, the black font against teh grays of the backgroundan dthink you should look at either a white or very light gray font. But the pen itself was great and you should write more..and of course read more as the more you do of both, the more you will grown. But looking at all you do as you listed the...looks like there's not much time left...lol. Anyway, nicely done,

    Evan


  • Poet-of-the-shadows
    November 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    very heart felt emotion ,but why the use of a song name for the title ?

    • songstress80
      October 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      it was part of a contest and it felt right. any other title idea i had just didn't quite make it, so ....we had a winner...lol!

1 - 19 of 19