Four elemental corners glare
With hazy hot sunlight.
Celestial angels drift crazily
Weaving sleeper's dreams.
We walk through blowing wet ashes,
Shielding faces while carrying torches,
Making bedtime monsters retreat,
And fictional demons admit defeat.
The core expanded from wanting,
Spraying its angry contents.
Everything came back to life,
Kicking, thriving, and steaming.
The world is overgrown!
No one can find anything in these tangles.
The members of the Zodiac
Clean out their apartments,
But chaos refuses order.
The trees must be amputated,
Lest they snare telephone lines.
Yet aren't the silhouettes nice?
(We request telephone lines and trees intact.)
Everyone is too busy or lazy,
Blowing through days like cloudy wind,
Or the breath the child uses
To blow out four birthday candles.
Children all over are organizing funerals,
For rodents who die in pointy-toothed masses,
Filling the merciful earth with
Small, furry, gelatinous-eyed faces.
The solution is in the water.
It will make everything swell,
Until it's bursting like stained glass.
Every pubescent girl will be bought
From the swimming pool,
Smelly from germ-killing chemicals.
The fire will lick clean the wounds,
Dancing hotly from an empty house,
Flicking into the mute sky
With undulating appendages.
From its cryptic beginning,
It always chuckled
That it would not be obliterated so easily,
As it sparkled away into the distance.
Author notes
This poem ended up much more "Stephen Spielberg meets David Lynch" than I had intended. Oh well.
A contest entry
- What Do You See? by just mercedes.
300 points, ended November 28, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you for your entry, I hope I can do justice to your beautiful poem made from the prompt. You took the elements and ran with them, gleefully, laughing, to a place I hadn't imagined. Of course it is patchwork, stained glass always is, and this one sits above my bed as a symbol of protection. You saw the sleepers' dreams and the bedtime monsters that it vanquishes, the elements that combined with time make life, and took them off into your world. You are my winner, and somehow a true reader.
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"Chaos refuses order"- I like that line a whole lot. It's so simple, but unique in its own way, and true. I'm not sure what Stephen Spielberg meets David Lynch means, but I think the poem had a nice ending, if not kind of sad (I think?) If I'm not completely getting the wrong message out of this. The earth being destroyed? Maybe? I'm not sure. But I liked the way you made this sound like a fairy tale, a fantasy, while still portraying an important idea. Even if my interpretations are a mile off, I know that I liked the poem .
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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aw a good good write I like it I like it!
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chaotically charming and original
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please please oh please, help me.
shine tastic wonder gasps of delight have corrupted my stale little potato chip heart as if it were purposely dropped into a vat of Dr. Pepper(with a straw of course, can't have any indecency now.)and as I struggle and cry and wriggle my way to survival, I'm dragged back in.
in other words.
I want to rape your poem and have little homostanzectus babies with it.
shine
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I enjoyed reading this
You did a good job thanks to adding this to my life,\...mac
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wow. this is awesome!!! I love it!!!
The core expanded from wanting,
Spraying its angry contents.
Everything came back to life,
Kicking, thriving, and steaming.
The world is overgrown!
No one kind find anything in these tangles.
The members of the Zodiac
Clean out their apartments,
But chaos refuses order.
The trees must be amputated,
Lest they snare telephone lines.
Yet aren't the silhouettes nice?
(We request telephone lines and trees intact.)
those were my favorite stanzas. I don't know why, they just were.... they really stuck to me. I love this! keep up your amazing work!
Crimson
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