Mr. Ivories
entertains with elan,
daily during cocktails on the mezzanine level.
Jolene always orders a Black Russian,
mine is a Dewar's and water.
We drop a fiver in his basket on the Steinway,
along with a request for "Ebb Tide",
Jolene's personal favorite.
He conjures an image of Fred Astaire at keyboard,
his tails flipped elegantly over the piano bench,
like long black raven's plumes.
Jolene points out two announcers from CNN,
seated opposite. Makes us feel
important by mere association.
Our waitress asks, would we like another round
before the hour's end, as we speculate
about Mr. Ivories' musical propensity.
Time escapes in moonlit harmonic vapors,
leaves us already longing our next soiree.
Author notes
This is a unique piece for me ... the only time I've ever written in enjambed tercets
A contest entry
- Your very best. by islekine.
600 points, ended November 24, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Paint Me A Poem! by Erin200.
313 points, ended December 1, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I can't believe I'm doing this again Part Deux by NoUseForAName.
700 points, ended December 31, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rebirth of the Workshop! by Amy Meneses.
1400 points, ended April 6, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like the descriptions and the unique style of your language but I don't know if this is personal enough. It didn't touch me as much as I'd hoped it would but I commend you on the attempt of a form. Thank you for the great read.
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descriptive and thoughtful. what a gorgeous poem. xx
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aaahh romantic evening at the bar listening to pianist......picture perfection! A lovely evening i am sure. Geees how the other half live! lol.
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ah you lost me boy I am still out in the barn cleaning stalls
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Not familiar with this form myself, but your line endings want you to rush on to the next stanza and get through! Lovely poetry too!
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Actually one of my favorite structures for this kind of semi-narrative poem--three lines of varying length, no forceful metrical rhythm, and a springboard from the last of one stanza to the first of the next. White space between stanzas becomes part of the movement, the cadence of the piece.
It works especially well in this piece, relaxed, leisurely, setting its own pace for each element of the experience. And coupled with an appropriately sense of language and syntax.
The whole thing is well handled. And enjoyable to read.
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I am humbled. TY, micol.
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Guilty (Everybody's guilty)
I like this, I like anything with scotch in it.
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