Gracious madonna dressed in white
angelic face and eyes so bright,
the chain that sparkles binds her right
enslaves the flame of her delight,
with nerves that tingle and excite
butterflies of eager fright,
madonna sinks beneath the might
of dreamy thoughts of the coming night.
The morning comes to start the game
nothing different, nothing the same,
one minute wild, the next so tame
forgotten thoughts of who's to blame,
once an athlete, now so lame
so much going, nothing came,
gracious madonna, one day of fame
vaguely recalled within thoughts of shame.
A contest entry
- Your best. by Condemd RyeZing.
525 points, ended February 7, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 2008, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze Prewrites by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended September 18, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is such a unique little piece, that second stanza was quite profound and perfectly written. Well done to you. Best to you in the contest
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This is amazing. The words you used here are amazing and so unique. I really enjoyed this poem, great work.
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Great write, I love the way you put it so graciously. thanks for entering my contest.
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life is but a dream
that is what i get as i read this
you marry
you love
then you lose love or interest
or some one gets hurt
life love loss
this was what i got out of this poem
your rhyme was perfect
the title set the poem
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amazing, the title brings attention
The 2nd lines are so sharp and good..
the write above ...like: Gracious madonna dressed in white
angelic face and eyes so bright,
the chain that sparkles binds her right
Here..wow this poem is nice!
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Very beautiful piece.
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Vivid piece. The repetitive rhyme scheme, which I normally don't particularly care for, actually gives this poem a nice rhythm and flow. Great job!
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Not sure if this second verse is years later and is kind of metaphoric or if taken verbatem and is next morning. Interesting title, liked the monorhyme throught these verses. Not often one sees that anymore in poetry.
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To maintain rhyme across a whole verse is beyond my abilityn (which doesn't say much!) but must be admired and noted; particularly as the content is so serious, yet the rhyme enhances the whole. Thanks for sharing this.
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So short with so much description. I think that you did a great job on this piece, GREAT IMAGRY!!! Keep it up!
~Ali -
Very Nice. It runs good. I'm curious as to what inspired such a write. I always love to read your work.
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