O Tibetian Treasure, Thou "Mother of the Universe"
Highest of all earthly forms
Rising above the sea's level
To the unequalled stature of 29,000 feet high
The Giant of the Giants
Undaunted by human ascent until 1953
You have claimed in your frozen, jagged heights
More than 10 score lives of daring men
Beyond the 3,680 summit ascents
Of those wanting to share in your splendor,
To find their own sense of your likeness of immortality
Only to be gone forever, as you stand in Majestic Splendor.
Author notes
The Title name:Chomolungma, is it's Tibetian name, which means as given in the first line of the poem, "Mother of the Universe." The English name by which we know it, was given by Andrew Waugh, the Brittish Surveyor General of India, who originally named it Mont Everest after Colonel Sir George Everest, whom he described as his "respected chief and predecessor." Through the years, this most prominent and exalted landscape, has been tagged with many and varied names, the last of which probably was the the one given by the Nepalese government in the early 1060's, which called it Sagarmatha.
The included picture is taken from it's southern view.
A contest entry
- Twelve lines on or from this Mountain, by Lyndon.
1000 points, ended November 26, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything kind or truly constructive
Comments
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You have written a short ode!
I must say I enjoyed this poem and the momentum built up.
"Undainted", typo; "undaunted", I think.
" 10 score lifes" => "10 score lives". The problem with typos is that they have the knack of drawing attention to themselves in contest poems! You do have one or two others!
Your first five lines are superb.
Your notes would certainly help readers, I should think.
Lyndson of the Winklings.
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Thank You
Thank You for your careful reading and helpful remarks on my poem. I thought I used spell check, but I should have been more careful. It did afford me an opportunity to focus on this natural wonder, and to give somewhat a sampling of my finds rather than a highly descriptive one filled with refined imagry.
Thanks for your contest and your comments,
David
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