When you walk by, and I catch your scent drifting past,
It's like remembering how to breathe again.
When you give me that look,
You know which one,
Only then am I truly alive.
And I'm filled with purpose, conviction,
When upon my heart you brand a boiling missive.
And mere mortals can never understand
The divinity you bequeath upon me
When you teach my limbs and appendages
The true meaning of survival, its most blatant secret.
And we are like unto spiders, in fatal embrace,
Circling each other, entwined to seeming death.
But we spare each other the finality,
And linger in waking dreams, as we rise from the mist,
The ashes of our former beings caking beneath us...
And we spare each other the words
That would otherwise taint this moment.
We are the stars and satellites
Of our own galaxy.
Revolving around each other, nourishing
Each other, heat and light and magnetism,
Attracting, repelling, twilight fusion.
Making love under rain-kissed tin,
You remind me how to breathe,
How to live, how to love only you.
Author notes
Don't ask... I have no clue. Enjoy!
Thanks, and good luck to the other participants !
- El Gio
Written October 20th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- !!! 1800 Point Contest !!! - 6 Judges by Twisted Enigma.
1800 points, ended November 23, 2003, 85 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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'the ashes of our former beings caking beneath us' hmmmm interesting and desirable..
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I loved this poem because it wasn't a cliched love poem. My favorite lines are:
When you teach my limbs and appendages
The true meaning of survival, its most blatant secret.
And linger in waking dreams, as we rise from the mist,
The ashes of our former beings caking beneath us...
I loved both of those images..they stuck with me; along with the spider image which completed the lines about appendages.
The line:
Making love under rain-kissed tin
evoked the sound of rain for me...the pitter-patter, clunk, clunk sound rain makes against a tin roof.
This poem makes my heart go a flutter. Ah, the joys of love.
-Farzin- -
sometimes i smell sex- but it doesnt smell, maybe its just the breath.
-
i really like your work.
this may sound bad but my love the first verse the most.
thankyou -
ahhh..
that touch of romance
where two hearts meet
and finally complete each other!
I did enjoy!
Keep penning On my friend!
Bill -
oooh, nice.
I love your words, this would be fun to read aloud.
I think the spider part was my favorite, too. and "rain-kissedtin".
Wonderful love poem. Made me smile.
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Beautiful write...so many original sentiments expressed...
" Revolving around each other , nourishing
Each other , heat and light and magnetism ,
Attracting , repelling , twilight fusion "...
Wish I wrote poetry like that !!
Good luck in the contest...
~ sonia ~
Edited on Oct 21, 3:32 p.m. because ''. -
Oh... this is beautiful, i especially love these lines;
"And we are like unto spiders, in fatal embrace,
Circling each other, entwined to seeming death.
But we spare each other the finality, "
Great poem, good luck with the contest :-)
~ Wendy
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nice )
hmm...what a lovely picture. I feel this way about my husband and I. Your piece is well written indeed...andI really liked that it gave me a thrill because it made me think of my husband. who is at work ...lol.
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Great job -
Hey AP... thats a great poem u got there ... Good luck in the contest.
Love
Maleen
PS: sorry for the short comment
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