Sallow crescent,
wading;
deeper, calm, benevolent.
breathing
pasty oil into
luminescent spheres,
crying, gasping,
static insolence;
burning innocence
like long letters
of regret
glowing like
glass roses, your face
flawlessly
saturated in perfect
complexion;
wanting shelter~
coveted weakness,
bathing in recklessness.
"Just let go
move on",
no, you can't leave me
why are you falling
falling again under me...
I can't hold you now,
just a stone
just a shell of the earth
above you
you can't hear me screaming
I can't see you turning
in the bed of death
You changed me... you
made me who I am,
you left me who I'm not
Any sound to
make you return,
the pulse faded within my grasp
triggers
of life endured sickness
took you tonight
again, once more
Abandoned,
pianos angry,
and gray...
sadistically pleading
merciful bellowing
can be heard from
miles away.
Author notes
...
I just spilled my guts. Hope the pain is worth it. Never written about so far. Can't really... explain...
Take it as your own interpretation
Create your own idea. I don't care.
A contest entry
- Crying... by near1202apocalypse.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 77 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me burst out in tears with your words by KaseyL.
600 points, ended May 9, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent write here
-
This is very well written,
And,
I can see a lot of past pent-up pain behind it.
I love the way you've reliesed it, though.
You know I'm always here for you,
Even if you never truly get to any issues.
Just to listen to anything,
And always for advice.
I hope you can get past this,
But most of all,
I hope you can let it go, and not just bury it.
Nothing stays buried forever,
But what's lain to rest forever rests.
Either way, well done,
And good luck in the contest.
-XIII-
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Beautiful, work. It literally took my breath away, I may not understand all of what you are writing about, but I love the choice of words. Excellent imagery. When the soul speaks to us the pictures are infinitely clearer. Thank you for sharing this great poem.
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Is this refering to a drug addiction?
Some of it makes me think it is someones cry for help as someone they love is losing a battle with a devil.?
Just a thought. I am probably way off. Thats ok I liked it all the same.
Good luck in the contest!
Poirsbaby
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Wow this is so deep, and beautiful, and you can just hear it pouring out from your heart. Your wording is so delicate and flows so well. Excellent poem, can't wait to read more from you!
Emma
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Wowzers!!
Powerful imagery that tugs at the Heartstrings and I just wanted to cry
The energy heightens and brings the reader closer to Your words...I just swallowed them next to the tears
I commend You for speaking and spilling Your ink
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet One
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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I can definately feel your pain in this piece. It's hard to go on when the people you care about the most don't care about you. try to keep going and continue to inspire me through your work because it is good. Good luck in the contest.
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I HATE that you have such a bigger vocab than me. In that reguards, I'm sure this is pretty.
**Feels stupid now**
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I felt your pain in this. Being abandoned is something really hard to get over..but somehow you do. Very well done and the best of luck in the contest
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Thank you dearest Kari for commenting on my work lately... it is muchly appreciated since nobody in my family cares to.
~ Kerri
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Awesome
I really enjoyed this piece, you had alot of feeling in it I like this so much=) keep up the great work..
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