Reds
Yellows
Oranges
All colors of this wonderful thing
Why can't I remember it's name?
So mejestic and so beautiful.
It was painful to the touch
and it made me sweat a lot,
but it was worth it to bask in it's beauty.
Oh but then...
Yes, now I remember,
I was so sad.
It disapeared from my sight,
gone from my life.
What was it that made this beauty leave?
Oh why can I never remember these things?
It was clear, that much I know.
Oh!
And it made me shiver,
boy was that cold!
Why can I never remember these names?
Author notes
Well, you wouldn't allow me to use the words to describe it, or the words that call it what it is. I just used my own problem, memory, to make the poem forget what fire is called. I also used my own style, I write story/poems. I hope you like it.
A contest entry
- Elemental, My dear Watson by lie.
860 points, ended December 1, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Spelling correction, located in the sixth line: majestic
Spelling correction, located in the thirteenth line: disappeared
I love the way you described fire, but the ending becomes confusing -
"and it made me shiver,
boy that was cold"??
I thought you did it on fire...which isn't cold?
That makes it sound like fire made you cold...not the abscence of...I thought you were talking about water or air.
*shrug* -
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I actually talked about both. The fire was the main thing... but then I thought about adding water in at the end. The water was cold and it "made the beauty leave" or... put out the fire.
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Thanks for the comment. I hope you can think of something. It'd be akward if I was the only entry. hahaha
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Well...
I think it's great write...I have been sitting here trying to enter.....lol
Best of luck in the contest!
*PEACE*
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