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Cold Rain

rain came the second night
cold hard like glass breaking
left the house by the back door
slipped out in a pilled up haze
hands shaking heart splintered
ran two miles to the church
bare feet, soaked gown
screaming your name
little grave
cardboard marker
digging bare hands
have to get you out
you must be cold
my baby so cold
headlights truck
daddy's here
he will help
no no no
do
not
take
me
away
my
Baby!
my
baby!
is
cold!

Author notes

Cold Rain is true.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Florida Sunshine gold member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    This poem left me a little confused ~ If I read it correctly ~ the person must be nutz ~ cause why would he run 2 miles in the cold rain to start diggin' up his child? With a cardboard marker ~ left me confused too ~ although I liked the style of the write ~ I'm confused to why ~ seems like ~ I don't know ~ twisted ~

    if thats what you were going for ~ you did great ~ I'm sorry if I didn't get it ~ I do try to look at poetry ~ in a deeper way ~ reaching for hidden meanings ~ or maybe reaching into the mind of the poet ~ what were they thinking ~ could they had experience this ~ so many questions ~ I look at when I read poetry ~

    Thanks for entering the "set the bar" contest ~ I do appreciate you sharing your work with me ~ best of luck to you!

  • Sinnastarr silver member
    December 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I think this was a very good read. I love how you engineered this piece to read faster and faster, then to dropt down to slow motion for the end. Very vivid imagery captured in this piece. I really the ending.
    All and all a very creative piece poet! Very thought provoking.
    Well done.
    Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.

  • sweet nightmares
    November 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i feel lik there should b a second part to this. but hey it leaves me in suspense :]]
  • Bob Fox
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I am wondering

    This picture I get is a sad one> How many times do things like this happen. One very reflective write you have penned


  • islekine
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I don't know what the options were...

    But this is great! Well, creepy great...lol
    write on!
    *PEACE*

1 - 7 of 7