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Dancing Disco

I want to meet you within the pallid glare of the disco,
I want to dance small circles about you, so you know
that I can revolve around you, if you like,
as the plays of green, red and pink chrysanthemums
take waltzes across our unsure faces.

I want to wear my hair loose and wavy, not tied
and let it fall in shy cascades across my shoulders and face.
I want to wear that short salmon pink strapless dress,
that flutters about my thin legs, dancing to the beat
of the synthesized lullabyes.

I want to do my face with no make up at all,
[save a bit of glitter]
because all the glitter and vinyl will reflect hypnotically
against the silver, multi-faceted ball of light
that I'll take your hand under,
reckless hips and bodies gyrating;
and dance.

Author notes

by Androgyneric

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Commodore Rouge
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I love the imagery! I can easily imagine the scene of you and your special someone partying it out together, and what you look like while doing it! I like how you're sharing your thoughts, but yet you showed, in contrast to telling. It did seem to be a little wordy in the third stanza, and I might clean that up a little, but other than that, I can't find anything to improve on. Keep on writing!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Sounds like fun to me

    A very good write here and I love to dance myself to disco in my workouts


  • N e a r
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW - this is rich in imagery and texture! I love this poem, because I can so easily visualize everything occuring. Beautiful!


    Thanks for entering! Good luck!

    M a r l u x i a


  • Fixing Tomorrow
    January 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very cute. The way you described everything gave me a very pretty picture. Thank you!


  • wishing-well
    January 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    OMG!

    OMG sweetie this is perfect and i love it! coult not be better! love ya! ciao!


    • Androgyneric
      January 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for commenting, sweet heart!
      Sorry I can't see you anymore...when do you usually get on YIM?

      .:All The Best:.
      Andro


  • v a n i l l a b o y
    January 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woo....that's some good stuff!
    I love this.. and like veryone else on here...
    I WANNA DANCE WITH YOUZZ!
    *puppy face*


  • Billythekid
    January 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have just painted such a vivid picture that I want to ask you to dance.Twirl around like grade school kids at the graduation. Nice wording and vocabulary.


  • bloved
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great use of lauage...you paint a beautiful picture for the readers

    makes me want to get up and start dancing!

  • wishing-well
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I wanna dance with you!


  • Scandalous Beauty
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was so hot. Beautifully written Andro.

    Guin


  • honey bear
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a very creative write that has vivid imigary, a song of love and yet to me it has a rather cold feel to it too as though you are not a part of what is going on but a spectator awating a reaction.
    good work, very enjoyable


    • Androgyneric
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! It was written about a dance...it ended badly, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.


  • King Nothing
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Like the Guns and Roses song, this "took me away to that special place"


    • Androgyneric
      November 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Ah, how insightful, I didn't think of that... at the time I was listening to Iron Maiden, "Rainmaker"...so I don't know...

  • lyrebird
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic! Your use of language never cease to amaze me.
    <3 Jojo


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is great! Such excellent imagery
    throughout this one. Wonderful work here
    and thanks a lot for sharing it. Keep
    it up!




    Jeremy0826


  • MysticalRayne
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent visual I feltlike I was right there dancing.
    This stanza is excellent I loved it
    I want to do my face with no make up at all,
    [save a bit of glitter]
    because all the glitter and vinyl will reflect hypnotically
    against the silver, multi-faceted ball of light
    that I'll take your hand under,
    reckless hips and bodies gyrating;
    and dance.


  • Gypsie Ink
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great Visual!

    I could hear the music....


  • howlinginpain
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A Dream

    This sounds like a dream I once had (or maybe it was just a bad trip) except in the dream there was a mosh pit in the disco and everyone was bleeding sunflower seeds. I really like "dancing to the beat of the synthesized lullabies". I never really thought of it that way, that's pretty cool.

1 - 29 of 29