Porcelain ice covers the frosted lake,
shadowed by mountains and yet untouched
by the sun’s rays on this November morn.
I stand alone, though not quite.
An eagle stretches, wings wide,
he welcomes warmth from the coming of day.
A doe delicately approaches the waters edge,
breaking through ice to sate her thirst.
I hear the earthly symphony that plays
its daily sonata to an unknown audience.
Sandpiper whistles, the rasping
of the kingfisher and the haughty honks
of geese sing harmony with the winds
that caress the boughs of spruce and pine.
Lungs, too accustomed to enclosed spaces,
are tantalized by air that tastes of freshness.
These mountains are the backbone of my soul,
refueling my body and re-engaging my mind.
Though my license shows I live elsewhere I know
that this is where I truly “live”.
As the eagle takes to flight, so too do I,
into the peaceful consciousness that only
these mountains can provide.
I am home.
Author notes
This piece is inspired by Waterton Lakes National Park in Alberta, Canada, and Glacier National Park directly across the Canada/US border in Montana. These two parks are joined and contain some of the most incredible scenery anywhere. I grew up 5 miles from Waterton Park and the mountains there always inspire me.
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Peace of Wild Things by Elora Danon.
800 points, ended November 26, 2007, 3 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Oasis by Dutch Doll.
480 points, ended December 24, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me by Little Blue Bird.
650 points, ended March 16, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Butterflies Flutter By by whispernthedark.
675 points, ended May 17, 2008, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A SENSE OF PLACE by Suzianne.
475 points, ended August 14, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beauty in everything by new born.
525 points, ended October 30, 2008, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Paradise by Angelo di Luce.
400 points, ended December 9, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Morning by PatheticKt.
550 points, ended August 20, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Living upon a mountain myself, can relate well to this wonderful write
One has to know the mountain well to be able to appreciate it`s wonders
Nice work
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I definitely love this write. I like how the persona described the serenity, the surroundings around him/her and every details painted more colors to the image inside the reader's head.
I like to give a critique as much as I can but the only thing I could find is maybe editing the sixth stanza: no, don't revise the content, I mean rearrange it. I almost read each line of that stanza as if it was a complete sentence
Nothing else to add, this was such a wonderful write, glad to read it
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its a trophy winner, so you know its great you dont need me to tell you that!
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Nice write. Thank you for entering it into my contest.
-Løki -
I found a great deal of comfort in the reading of this poem. It is nice. I don't find anything wrong with it.
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So beautiful and sincere. I need say no more. Sheila
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Thank you for this excellent entry
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that was an exciting journey drowning in the beauty of nature ...congrats on the trophies much deserved
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Thank you!
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this is amazing. It captures the feeling of being intertwined with nature perfectly. My contest is over, but I haven't juged yet. You have until next week to read the rules and put in what you're missing.
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This is a beautiful write. I felt as though I was there with you in this peaceful, serene place. It is worthy of Gold trophies. Thanks for sharing..Katie Lazette
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Congratulations.
Thank you for participating in my first contest. I really enjoyed the use of birds to establish a sense of place. This is beautiful. -
Splendid
This is beautiful and it makes me think you must live where I do, in northwest Arkansas. I am curious about the location of your poem. Please reveal???
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I was just listening to the birds outside my bedroom with their cacophony of sounds. There are often Canada Geese flying overhead here. The light is early now, enchantingly clear, and it would be a beautiful morning to be near a lake in the peaceful crisp freshness of a mountain morning that lets one know how close God is.
Your poem makes me sigh with the loveliness you capture, seemingly effortlessly. ~ Karen
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What a wonderful feeling this poem gives me! Beautiful. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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BEEutiful!!! xxx
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Beautiful
You have taken my breath away. You must know me well, to write about my favorite place, the mountains. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Beautiful imagery, it is clear how much you love this place, and how close to your heart it is. I love the way it ends, with a sense of satisfaction and peacefulness it gives.
I would take out a couple of words, maybe just personally though....
he welcomes warmth from the coming of day.
I'd take out 'of' here, just flows better I think.
to flight, so too do I,
I'd take out one of the to/too's.
That's all! Beautiful! I love the image of porcelain ice too, such a striking picture.
Love it.
Thanks for putting it here!
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I think that this is beautiful thank you for your entry into my contest best wishes and much love always
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Yay! someone can spell porcelain right! XD
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Nice to know where one's soul resides. This is beautifully penned, i would not change a thing for if you did then you would not be very true to yourself. I wanted to check out the other winners in this contest, congrats on the gold btw. Your poem sort of reminded me of my entry in this contest only yours is longer, but the message is the same.
Happy holidays to you and yours
Warmly, Chrissy
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Home, a different thing to everyone. The talent is to make sure that all who read become adopted into 'your' family. That has been accomplished. On a side note, it would not matter what gender one was, what nationality they hailed from, or what their ethnic derivation was, ...it would still feel like home. Oh, to escape the grind and stand free. I envy you my poetical comrade. I pray this comes through. RC
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Wow, I thought the imagery you provided in this poem was vivid and beautiful, I flowed right through the poem, and really enjoyed it. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Some wonderful images you paint in this piece. I too feel as those I "live" someplace other than where I reside so I can appreciate the feel of this write.
Thank you for your lovely entry.
e~
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Stunning imagery guiding me on an enchanting journey of your home Wonderful rhythm, smooth as silk and inviting me to read twice Well done poet!! Missed reading your work ~Tia
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you paint such an amazing picture.
its so peaceful and beutiful. the way you explain this it makes you really apreciate the nature that surrounds us. very beautiful.
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Peaceful Travel Back
I just love it. A moment through your words I traveled to nature feeling the peace you see, feel, and hear within your written words. Thank you for a beautiful moment.
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Have you ever read something that was as comfortable as your favorite blanket, that wrapped you in warmth and offered unconditional love ?
I think that would best describe the feelings the powerful imagery in this write has left me...
Thank you so very much for sharing...
Wonderful...
Peace and Many blessings
~A~
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Very nicely done!
I got a peaceful, easy feeling reading your poem..you made me feel like I was 'there'.
Best of Luck in the contest!
Maureen
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Aw. this is so peaceful and gentle. I loved reading it and especially loved these lines.
These mountains are the backbone of my soul,
refueling my body and re-engaging my mind.
Though my license shows I live elsewhere I know
that this is where I truly “live”.
Such beautiful words.
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Did like all th images this pom brings to mind, I love the mountains too and visit them whenever I can. Think I could love there, even though I am now on the prairies and always have been. You have brought the senses into this poem and it's very easy to read and understand. Can smell, see and hear the freshness and noises described here
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Fresh
as in not in enclosed spaces....I like the knowing of that... -
"...I am home." Isn't it amazing how three little words can sum up so many emotions and images? Once again, Rory, you have drawn me into the poem and given me more than what I had before I began reading...Thank you.
Love, Lane
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i liked
i really like the way this poem was written the flow was good and the meaning was great too, other things that i liked was how much you talked about earthy things, and i myself is a very earthy person and the out doors is my home when the weather is right
good work keep writing ang thank you for posting this as a featrued poem for all to read i hope to see more
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Beautiful and prayer-like. I keep two licenses.
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Excellant/imaginative/intriguing
Ah, you must be familiar with the writings, and spirit of Henry David Thoreau, who wrote:"Walden Pond", amongst other writings. For those who may not be, here's a link to click on: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walden
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Oh my Rory.. this one is the best yet!! I adore this... it's perfect as is.
It reads really smooth... a quite remarkable piece. The time you've spent on this clearly shows through!!!!
The flow is as smooth as honey flowing freely; your words and imagery hold such peace and serenity within them.
I'm impressed!!!!
~Melissa
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Through and Through
Oh my...I felt every breeze and the beauty you wonderfully stated. This is rich with imagery.
Truly a beautiful piece that I felt through and through.
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"Sandpiper whistles, the rasping
of the kingfisher and the haughty honks
of geese sing harmony with the winds
that caress the boughs of spruce and pine."
Beautifully penned, Scribe. A quiet walk along beside you, peaceful & enlightening. Good luck in the contest, my Friend. Wanda
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