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"Goodbye"

Missing image
The ocean is a zillion fallen tears
Fallen through a billion years
Now mine fall there too
And they fall for you

The desert is a zillion thoughts
For all the people ever lost
Every single grain
One last remain

The grass is a zillion past lives
Every new straw a last sigh
This day I saw a new straw
I should see you nevermore

The stars are a zillion dreams
That no one know what means
Our dream have gone there too
For we never saw them through

The leaves are a zillion goodbyes
The trees the tribes that died
One day we’ll be there too
But this day I’m missing you

Author notes

Okay this is a pretty sad poem, but I'm not realy sad. Besides the poem is mostly about loss, and I havn't lost anyone in the years since my grandmother died.

But I have a melancholic way of thinking at times and my imagination is quite good at this particular feeling

Hope you like it

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Aedara-Wren silver member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply
    Some profound ideas here, expressed in an interesting way. The repetition linking all the stanza's together is particularly effective in creating that bigger picture in which things can seem irrelevant and yet still somehow don't. There's still a care for that one new straw despite there being zillions of others. I think its a wonderful way to link the universal to the personal. Well written.


  • upperworld06
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i really like the metaphores (or similies?) my favorite was the dreams one. good job and good luck

  • keynes
    December 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks

    Thanks for reading your poem. I like it!

  • poetry is my passion
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i thought it was awsome...most of my poems are from personal loss but the way u could come up with tht when u were not sad is brilliant

  • Justin3
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a brilliant poem I love the imagery and the flow especially since it didn't come from a personal experience rather from the recesses of your mind, thats a sign of great talent!

  • Zarokk666
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My friend, you never cease to amaze me
    This poem, well I would go so far as to call it your best ever! although rather sad it is also very beautiful.
    well, you leave me impressed once again

    see you soon
    your friend Zarok


    • Dewshine gold member
      November 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much, you are right it is sad but beautyful, and is also one my personal favorites... so far.

      And hopefully I will continue to amaze you... as long as you amze me

1 - 7 of 7