“I can’t believe the junk out front,
the dolls and toys and like!
I almost tripped when coming in
where someone dropped a bike!
I see the baby’s teething still,
this place is such a mess!
Why, how you spend your free time
is anybody’s guess!
The twins still down with chicken pox?
Head lice alert from school?
You need to have a ‘heart-to-heart’
with Kate, she looks the ghoul!
My mother, she had eight kids,
and stayed a slim size 4;
the house was kept immaculate,
and tell you something more:
She did her hair and wore a dress,
each meal was just a feast!
This stuff smells foul! Where’s the remote?”
and then…
she stabbed the beast!
Author notes
Prompt: deadly dinner-time altercation
A contest entry
- You Don't Like the Dinner I Fixed? OKAY!! Take that and that! by Melodies.
600 points, ended November 16, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow! My first glance at this. Funny! Yeah, she does nothing ALL day...
BUT she keeps the knives SHARP
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OH MY GOODNESS!!!!
LOL!!!
This is so worthy of the gold! And much more...
what a delightful and fun read this is! LOL
your gift for rhyme is enviable....
great job with the contest prompt!!!
Congrats on a well deserved win...
Blessings! Tammy
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Thank you, Tammy, for reading and commenting Occasionally you get a 'gift' poem that basically writes itself--this was one of those!
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This is truly a great write. It flows excellantly and has Black humour to it. I could see the whole scene playing out in my mind. Superb writing
Congrats on the trophy, it was well deserved
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Thank you, Dmonik, for taking the time to read and comment! I'm glad you enjoyed it
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This is a laugh and a half! I really enjoyed reading it. You gave the subject a lighter note then I did and it's nice to see how someone else took it. Great job and congrats on the gold, you definetly deserved it!
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Thank you alexandrathegreat, for taking the time to read and comment! Glad you enjoyed it
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great stuff,
so mundane & every day, yet so surreal and out there at the same time.
well done, keep up the good work!
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Thank you, Fritz O skennick, for the comment and clappies. I am pleased you found it an "every day" depiction (most sadly, it is so for some people!), which I think makes the abrupt turn stronger
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Great satisfaction here!
A fantasy right out of "Twisted Dreams and Righteous Screams." Thank you for bringing this wonderful head full of humor to our silly contest. 
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Wonderful Stuff
What a fabulous take on the prompt you have whipped up here. Marvelous modern imagery and terrific rhyming
reminsicent of the great Shel Silverstein. Best of luck in the contest with this wonderful poem.
David Michaels
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Thank you so much for reading and your comment! I love Shel Silverstein, so that was quite a compliment
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