white sands and
orange sunsets;
melting and dripping like hot wax
into the smudged charcoal portrait
of the night;
phantom shadows
and closet monsters
banished - simply because you're here.
blue eyes and teasing voices
steady heartbeats;
keeping perfect time with the thoughts in my head
stay with me;
laugh with me;
fall asleep with me;
forever
until time
slows down
and
s t o p s .
Author notes
This is accompanied by a short story of the same name; both were inspired by a short story and song written for me by a very close friend.
hope you liked.
A contest entry
- lust & love by whiterabbit..
375 points, ended January 6, 2008, 37 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 3 options by CharlotteRose.
450 points, ended February 17, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Muted Swan (ALLOWING PREWRITES) by sanity.
950 points, ended April 8, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Time stands still for noone by marciakay81.
525 points, ended May 30, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feedback?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i really enjoyed this. it's wonderful. thanks for entering
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An eternity is all that you ask? This is the universal dream of star crossed lovers... and you capture it so well! Congrats. on the Bronze trophy!!!
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I absolutely LOVE this poem. So much said in so few words. The hope that all truly happy lovers have, that they will be together for all time, is so beautifully expressed in these few words. Well done!
Congratulations on your Bronze trophy
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wow.... this is lovely..... feelings of the one you love, asking them to spend the rest of their life with you.... if only this had been written for me....lol thank you for sharing... good luck.... hugs and love Linda xxxxxxxxxxx
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I did really like it and I liked the way you spaced out the last line; it really added to the effect. You also used some really nice, descriptive phrases. Though I didn't really get the emotion of the scene from this, I still liked your piece. Thanks for entering.
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this is short and sweet. I really like it. Wonderful job. The wording is just beautiful. thanks for entering.
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Well isn't this a sweet write you have here It was short but, carries images and priceless feelings to it, indeed sensual in a sense and the title is great, thanks for sharing and entering best of luck.
MxA
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I enjoyed the simplicity of this. The imagery was done well. However, I think there could have been some more detail. Nice ending, fits well. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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WOO-HOO!
I love it! Absolutely love it! I love the title, it really flows with the rest of the poem. I love how you were descriptive and sensual. Good luck in the contest! -
blue eyes and teasing voices. You're not talking about me are you! Lol. Well. just kidding, great peom loved it! and tell squirt hehe we LOVE her. lol you should do a poem of her again
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