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Bless Me Father

The door swings open
She enters without a sound
I know I should refuse her
But I am helpless, duty bound

I try to bless her soul
As I wait for her to confess
I try to look away
As she slowly starts to undress

And before I can stop her
She's fallen on her knees
I can't send her away now
She's praying hard to please

Her hands take a hold
Stroking me so lightly
Making me twitch and shiver
Gripping me so tightly

Filled with blind devotion
Staring deeply into my eyes
My very own fallen angel
Here between my thighs

My heart starts beating faster
As her warm mouth takes me in
My faith is now forgotten
As I give in to my sin

Her tongue flicks and teases
And my hips start to thrust
My vows are now a memory
As I give in to my lust

Finally she mounts me
And rides upon my despair
I curse her, I caress her
I start gasping for air

Faster, deeper
Eternal damnation
With each rise and fall
No hope for salvation

I bite hard into her breast
She cries out in sweet pain
Her nails twist my nipples
I struggle in vain

She's taking me with her
To a place I know well
I scream out His name
As I explode into Hell

Used, spent and wasted
Left alone with guilt and sin
I should ask for His forgiveness
But don't know where to begin…

Author notes

Written by Purplesuze
Option 1 : EROTICA (a church confessional)
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"smile because your never know who's following in love with your smile."
option 4. erotic...
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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • pantera1985
    February 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow wow! I'm totally impressed by the way that this felt and flowed.
    Nothing naughtier and darker than a person of the cloth being seduced into sin. I was really captivated by your writing, and I loved the imagery that you used...and you were able to rhyme without it sounding forced which is excellant!
    Bravo!


  • WillAlwaysLove silver member
    January 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice piece. Your flow and rhyme were excellent. The sujbect matter was so erotic but it was a bit weird that is was a "church confession", either way, I liked it. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • TheDemonEve
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "She's taking me with her
    To a place I know well
    I scream out His name
    As I explode into Hell"
    Oh my sweet Lord, how very shameful and exquisitely delicious. The entwining of Lust and religion is something so shameful it makes me sweat and want. VERY well done, one of my favourites so far in the contest. Perfect form, perfect rhyme, perfect wording, perfect piece.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    December 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow Wow Wow. Now this is definetly taking church/religion and twist it with erotica at its best

    I was so drawn in by the smooth smooth flow of the words.

    I am a huge fan of both reading and writing erotica and you have made my day with this one

    Thank you and Good Luck


  • Oktobere Sahnge
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ~Technical Criticism:
    'The door swings opens': should be 'open' perhaps?
    ~Poetical Criticism:
    '&' symbols always urk me with their presence in poetry.
    ~Favorite Line:
    'But I am helpless, duty bound': After reading the remainder of the poem, perhaps the Father adds on 'duty bound' after his confession of weakness to hide that he is helpless to the girl and not of the vows he has made.
    ~Overall:
    Great write! It tickles me to find erotica in a confessional. =]

    Good luck,
    Lysander
    <3


    • Purplesuze
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you :)

      I guess I had read and re-read so many times that I actually missed the errors that I was looking for!
      (and I have corrected them)

      Thanks for pointing them out

      x Suze x


  • Megan Awesome
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is amazing. I am a religious person, and when I first started reading this I was ready to be insulted lol. But getting to the end I realized it's kind of a lesson. Even though I am religious I can't say I'm innocent. But I believe that making love with the person you are in love with and plan to spend your life with isn't as bad as plain lust. But as for this poem ... amazing. Wonderful even. The flow, the rhyme, the meaning all of it was great! On a scale of one to ten I'd give it a 9. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
    Megan


  • Ravenblood
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ohhhh .. i SO love this. thanks so freaking much for enteringQ!!!

    Claire-Anne


  • Gerald Flagellation
    November 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    More guilt trips.


  • lesbian-in-love
    November 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh that was very good. I liked this one a lot. I loved the way it flowed. I love the lines:
    My heart starts beating faster
    As her warm mouth takes me in
    My faith is now forgotten
    As I give in to my sin
    I have been there done that and well hopefully that won't happen again. Thanks for entering and good luck to you in the contest.


  • PureRomance
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sensual and erotic piece. Thank you so much for submitting this into the contests in which you have. I wish you good luck, I hope you win. God bless.


  • Cyprien
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow.

    This was incredible! I have no other word to decribe it, but that has to be the best piece of erotica I've read in a long time. Bravo!


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    OH MY GOD... THAT WAS HOT!!!!! I have to say, I am extremely pleased with your entry! It was awesome, and I will tell you right now, that this one has a fabulous chance of making it to the next round. Well done, and good luck!



    I don't usually applaud contest poems, but this one deserves it! *muah*

1 - 13 of 13