Here's the steak rare, like you wanted
Hell, just go cook it yourself
Mild mannered, your cook, no, your skivvy
I've had enough of your hell
So take the pastrami and olives,
Before cocktail sticks gouge your eyes
A chopping board castration awaits you
Tell me I can't cook...ARE YOU BLIND?
Seven course dinner last weekend
Your boss sure as hell didn't complain
Wine served at the correct temperature
I think it's affected your brain
Don't criticise just because I refused to
Cook for you, for just one day
Or maybe I'll do a Dahmer
Cook you and give you away
Author notes
What can I say...Don't criticise my cooking...
A contest entry
- You Don't Like the Dinner I Fixed? OKAY!! Take that and that! by Melodies.
600 points, ended November 16, 2007, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Black humor over a culinary piece, ala Chicken Othello! Be sure to post your "Don't Criticize the Cook" sign where visitors can see it! Though it sounds like most would not dream of it Congrats on the trophy!
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lmao!
Maybe I should add that sign to the other I own...'Forget the dog, beware of the owner!'
Thanks for the congratulations and comment
Most people wouldn't criticise me anyway, purely because, whilst I'm not a chef, I can cook, lol.
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wow...maybe i just won't ever ask you to cook for me...not that you'll get the chance to...but tell me this...can you really vcook so well?
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Can I cook so well? I dunno...ask the people who eat my cooking, lol. But I think I can do...
I'll cook for anyone...as long as they don't criticise my cooking, lmao.
Hope you're good, Daughter. Thanks for reading
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lmao don't criticize your cooking huh, ill try and remember that . Great write here scott. Like sarah said the dmon a bit angry lol. well done good luck
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Angry? Moi? Honey...I never get angry...
You won't criticise my cooking, lol. I know you too well
Glad you like this piece Bell, and thanks
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Uh oh...the demon is angry? lol Good write hun...here have some scoobie snax!
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Thanks sarah Glad you like this piece I aint angry for this piece...this is what I would do, if my cooking gets criticised, lmao
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Seriously Sauted, Marvelously Mixed Salad of chilled ingredients!
All lines brilliantly displayed on a table filled with with spicy images!
Aggressive flavors that spark out a story of culinary vengeance. 
Totally gripping effect, YES! 
So cool! 
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