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broken wings

Missing image
With my broken wings
you expect me to fly.
To rise above the troubles
and reach the sky.
With a broken heart,
you leave me to cry.
You’re aggravated
cause my tears don’t dry.
My heart is heavy
my wings a lie.
I am a broken…
                          butterfly.

Author notes

A butterfly that cannot fly - Those wings are just a lie.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34
  • I really love your style of writing and this is so sad. I loved the imagery you have used here and conrats on all the trophies you have got for these. Well done and thank you so much for entering my contest.


  • nastassia
    February 12
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    jy is baie talentvol. i love your poems


  • peridotPixi
    December 12, 2008

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    I love this....I love the picture and the feelings you have expressed in this poem, i think it deserves a gold, i love how you say about exspecting to rise above the sky the flow is great, congratulations on the two silvers. as always keep up the wonderful writing ʚiɞ~Amy


  • HopeInForever
    December 10, 2008

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    This is exceptionally beautiful; It makes me think, and I can relate so well.

    Hopefully with time, broken wings will heal. =)


  • Ellis gold member
    December 6, 2008
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    A Pure Delight


  • paulcreates silver member
    December 3, 2008
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    Well worth the silver medal this is. Far too many relationships are treated flippantly simply because "the last person did it to me" This is not right. Individuals need to strive within themselves to be as forthright as one can be so that there is a high level of candor.

    Paul


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    July 22, 2008

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    I see a sad situation here...

    ...someone is expected to rise above misery and get on with it! That is not always easy to do, and so I see your metaphor of the butterfly with the broken wing.

    Unfortunately, we all have our broken wings, but,in one way, the 'expector' is correct, you must fly with a broken wing otherwise you starve. That is a cruel and true paradox.

    Wonderful poem which has made me think deeply. I love the rhythm and the rhyme.

  • piccola silver member
    May 8, 2008

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    I love the end, it's my favorite part. The bg is great too. lovely presentation. good job and thanks for the entry.


  • C.Thunderstruck
    May 8, 2008
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    great background!!


  • incapable
    May 1, 2008

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    Beautifully written, it's hard to have such an impact with a short piece but you have managed to do it.
    It leaves you wondering so many different things.
    Once again, I loved your rhyming and the way your poetry just flows. Great poem x xx


  • individuality gold member
    April 25, 2008

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    this is good, so many use the butterfly imagery in light fluffy ways it makes me heave i like the language ehre, i did one on dark with this imagery too though not for this contest, i just did mine cos i wanted to do a dark butterfly poem at the moment i do not recall the title of it but it is posted diurnal wings... is the beginning


  • nobodys-girl
    April 23, 2008

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    this is so sad but so extreamly beautiful. i loved the first part of it, flying with broken wings. thankyou so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Candy6
    April 9, 2008
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    Congrets. Good title. Good metaphor. Good job.


  • Pandorea
    November 19, 2007
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    oh dear, that's sad. but well written. good job!


  • tombruize
    November 17, 2007

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    Awe inspiring... I can actually feel the angst. Great write, you have seduced me to read more of your works...


  • The Madman silver member
    November 16, 2007
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    Congrats

    New this was a winner as I was reading it. Nice work and congrats on your two silvers..

    Evan


  • annamoy
    November 16, 2007

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    Sad but sweet poem and the comparison to human pain is poignant. Well done on the silver trophy.

    Ann


  • mysticstorm gold member
    November 16, 2007

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    Congartulation on the SIlver...and you were worried for whay??? Beautiful little wrie, with great flow and meter.
    Best,
    mystic


  • Floorboards
    November 16, 2007

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    Well done on your silver trophy, you beat me no problem it seems. Thanks for your comment on my poem,
    regards,
    Floorboards.


  • Animarising
    November 16, 2007
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    Congrats on silver. Lovely, simple, elegant. Well done!


  • daviscth silver member
    November 16, 2007

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    This is so wonderfully written. Simply awesome job my dear. I'm so glad you won silver with it. Congratulations!!!
    Cathy


  • Blankscreen2222
    November 16, 2007

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    This is a truly beautiful and heartfelt piece.
    So much said in so few lines.
    Very best of luck in the contest.


  • MassMan
    November 16, 2007

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    You Did it Girl!

    Your poem flew by mine into the the higher realms lighting gracefully on the glittering Silver Challis (which some call a Trophy!
    You Go Girl!

    Evidently my poem had a little form, but they felt that yours really had substance! And it is a beautiful poem at that!

    Your AP-Pappy's mighty proud of his High flyin' Lil' Ladyof an AP Daughter---I think she can & does fly, even with a broken wing!

    (((((((((((((((SMILES 4-U))))))))))))))))))))))

    Daddy-David

  • The Madman silver member
    November 16, 2007

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    Nice Rebekkah-Ann

    Liked what you did here also. You painted a a wonderful work of art here, of heartache, of anguish and pain abd so well. Best wishes to you and will look forward to more of your work...

    Evan

  • acytra
    November 16, 2007

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    Now this is beautiful. I love the way it flows and it fits my life so perfectly as well. Wow! I love this. Good luck in the contest. This is a truly incredible write. Thank you so much for sharing.


  • Zahir
    November 16, 2007

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    How very well this describes, at least to me, the feeling when someone you love doesn't love you anymore, and expectyou to forget him and go on just as easily. "My wings a lie". Beautiful and simple metaphor, we usually end up pretending all is fine. I am the one is intimidated here


    • Rebekah-Ann silver member
      November 16, 2007
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      So glad you could connect. However this was written for my mom. She has a problem with me crying over the loss of my husband.
      She doesn't show me any support. expects me to wash my face and go on with my life.

      I like to write "riddle style" so that anyone can find something in the poem they can connect to!

      Thank you for your beautiful comment! Your views are more fun than the poetry!!!

  • Barely Breathing gold member
    November 16, 2007

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    First of all, congratulations for the silver trophy. Second of all, what a wonderful poem. It has so much depth and beauty to it that i just wanted to cry. You have relayed such great feelings and emotions here, well done. This is absolutely great.


  • Lola Green
    November 15, 2007

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    Congratulations, your poem made it into the final draw of the "wings" contest!!

    All the best for the finals


  • Li snuffles
    November 14, 2007
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    This is beautiful good luck in this contest

  • Gods Precious
    November 14, 2007

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    Dolla Hoekom klink dit my daar is nou weer seer van voor af....... Ons bly koffie uitstel ons beter plan maak dat ek vir jou n hand vol tissues gee. Jou beurt om te huil die keer sal ek luister en saam huil. Dis n awesome stuk die.

    Great Job hun
    I always love reading your work


  • Amera gold member
    November 14, 2007

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    This is a wonderful little verse and like the comment below me I can see many metaphors for it. Yes it is sad but reality is sad. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • Rebekah-Ann silver member
      November 14, 2007
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      thank you for the beautiful reply

      I promised to stop crying... Alas!


  • Tarja
    November 14, 2007

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    How sad! A butterfly without wings is like a poet without words! This was so depressing but so very lovely. Thanks so much for the passionate entry! Good luck.

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