With my broken wings
you expect me to fly.
To rise above the troubles
and reach the sky.
With a broken heart,
you leave me to cry.
You’re aggravated
cause my tears don’t dry.
My heart is heavy
my wings a lie.
I am a broken…
butterfly.
Author notes
A butterfly that cannot fly - Those wings are just a lie.
A contest entry
- 72nd Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended November 15, 2007, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wings... by Lola Green.
430 points, ended November 16, 2007, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lifehouse - Broken by Barely Breathing.
650 points, ended August 30, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
>..
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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I really love your style of writing and this is so sad. I loved the imagery you have used here and conrats on all the trophies you have got for these. Well done and thank you so much for entering my contest.
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jy is baie talentvol. i love your poems
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I love this....I love the picture and the feelings you have expressed in this poem, i think it deserves a gold, i love how you say about exspecting to rise above the sky the flow is great, congratulations on the two silvers. as always keep up the wonderful writing ʚiɞ~Amy
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This is exceptionally beautiful; It makes me think, and I can relate so well.
Hopefully with time, broken wings will heal. =)
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A Pure Delight
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Well worth the silver medal this is. Far too many relationships are treated flippantly simply because "the last person did it to me" This is not right. Individuals need to strive within themselves to be as forthright as one can be so that there is a high level of candor.
Paul
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I see a sad situation here...
...someone is expected to rise above misery and get on with it! That is not always easy to do, and so I see your metaphor of the butterfly with the broken wing.
Unfortunately, we all have our broken wings, but,in one way, the 'expector' is correct, you must fly with a broken wing otherwise you starve. That is a cruel and true paradox.
Wonderful poem which has made me think deeply. I love the rhythm and the rhyme.
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I love the end, it's my favorite part. The bg is great too. lovely presentation. good job and thanks for the entry.
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great background!!
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Beautifully written, it's hard to have such an impact with a short piece but you have managed to do it.
It leaves you wondering so many different things.
Once again, I loved your rhyming and the way your poetry just flows. Great poem x xx
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this is good, so many use the butterfly imagery in light fluffy ways it makes me heave
i like the language ehre, i did one on dark with this imagery too though not for this contest, i just did mine cos i wanted to do a dark butterfly poem 
at the moment i do not recall the title of it but it is posted diurnal wings... is the beginning
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this is so sad but so extreamly beautiful. i loved the first part of it, flying with broken wings. thankyou so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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Congrets. Good title. Good metaphor. Good job.
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oh dear, that's sad. but well written. good job!
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Awe inspiring... I can actually feel the angst. Great write, you have seduced me to read more of your works...
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Congrats
New this was a winner as I was reading it. Nice work and congrats on your two silvers..
Evan -
Sad but sweet poem and the comparison to human pain is poignant. Well done on the silver trophy.
Ann
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Congartulation on the SIlver...and you were worried for whay??? Beautiful little wrie, with great flow and meter.
Best,
mystic -
Well done on your silver trophy, you beat me no problem it seems. Thanks for your comment on my poem,
regards,
Floorboards. -
Congrats on silver. Lovely, simple, elegant. Well done!
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This is so wonderfully written. Simply awesome job my dear. I'm so glad you won silver with it. Congratulations!!!
Cathy -
This is a truly beautiful and heartfelt piece.
So much said in so few lines.
Very best of luck in the contest.
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You Did it Girl!
Your poem flew by mine into the the higher realms lighting gracefully on the glittering Silver Challis (which some call a Trophy!
You Go Girl!
Evidently my poem had a little form, but they felt that yours really had substance! And it is a beautiful poem at that!
Your AP-Pappy's mighty proud of his High flyin' Lil' Ladyof an AP Daughter---I think she can & does fly, even with a broken wing!
(((((((((((((((SMILES 4-U))))))))))))))))))))))
Daddy-David
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Nice Rebekkah-Ann
Liked what you did here also. You painted a a wonderful work of art here, of heartache, of anguish and pain abd so well. Best wishes to you and will look forward to more of your work...
Evan
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Now this is beautiful. I love the way it flows and it fits my life so perfectly as well. Wow! I love this. Good luck in the contest. This is a truly incredible write. Thank you so much for sharing.
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How very well this describes, at least to me, the feeling when someone you love doesn't love you anymore, and expectyou to forget him and go on just as easily. "My wings a lie". Beautiful and simple metaphor, we usually end up pretending all is fine. I am the one is intimidated here
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So glad you could connect. However this was written for my mom. She has a problem with me crying over the loss of my husband.
She doesn't show me any support. expects me to wash my face and go on with my life.
I like to write "riddle style" so that anyone can find something in the poem they can connect to!
Thank you for your beautiful comment! Your views are more fun than the poetry!!!
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First of all, congratulations for the silver trophy. Second of all, what a wonderful poem. It has so much depth and beauty to it that i just wanted to cry. You have relayed such great feelings and emotions here, well done. This is absolutely great.
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Congratulations, your poem made it into the final draw of the "wings" contest!!
All the best for the finals
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This is beautiful good luck in this contest
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Dolla Hoekom klink dit my daar is nou weer seer van voor af....... Ons bly koffie uitstel ons beter plan maak dat ek vir jou n hand vol tissues gee. Jou beurt om te huil die keer sal ek luister en saam huil. Dis n awesome stuk die.
Great Job hun
I always love reading your work
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This is a wonderful little verse and like the comment below me I can see many metaphors for it. Yes it is sad but reality is sad. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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thank you for the beautiful reply
I promised to stop crying... Alas!
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How sad! A butterfly without wings is like a poet without words! This was so depressing but so very lovely. Thanks so much for the passionate entry! Good luck.
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