she prefers how she looks
in radiograph over photograph
skeletal framework framed
in stark contrast
black and white
instead of black and blue
where neither swollen eyes
nor split lips
mar the image
and anomalous
calcium deposits
can be explained away
as tricks of the light...
A contest entry
- Your Best Pre-write of 2007 by Metaphorist.
900 points, ended January 4, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This write makes me really sad. It's very well written though.
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wow...
... that's all there is... this is amazingly original and beautifully written...
great work!
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What can I say? Its beatiful, its sad and unexpected, and its original as hell. You amaze me.
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This is beautiful and heartbreaking. Original and, as Allie mentioned, the medical terminology was used effectively.
Thanks for entering. Good luck in my contest and in the New Year! -
Beautiful
Loved the image, poem, and point
Never read any of your stuff before
+1 you
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oohhh
sad poem great imagery, I think imagery is actually your best aspect of any poem you write.. lol that is saying a lot because you are good at every about poetry
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this one was eerily chilling,
it struck a nerve somewhere deep within me, in a place I often deny even exists.
You know all the reasons why this means so much more to me.
I love the imagery. It's so brilliant, but it makes me squirm.... it's a bit difficult for me to read (not because of the way it is written, but because of the topic).
I adore your use of correct terminology.
You are so intelligent in so many ways... and an amazing poet!
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I found my voice... see below.
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Excellent
It even shows the cranium, which shields the brain,
where neurons fire, and you hope she reasons to leave if she is old enough...strong enough, or to tell someone...talk to someone who can help.
This is fine work, Sir.
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Abuse of the soul ...
cannot be traced by X-rays ... Neither the scars left by love lost.
You wrote a disturbing piece here, masterful in its recognition and awareness.
Love to you, Poet.
Myra
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I don't know what to think...
Perhaps I think to much sometimes..no?
In the words of Chekov: "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
You have certainly done that here. Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. Perhaps the subject of your inspiration will draw courage from your words.
Sometimes we need to close our eyes in order to see.
I can rarely fault your writing. This piece brings me to the conclusion that after sad experiences, sometimes you cannot come to any conclusion at all..
~ crissy ♥
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bones and ridge mystics...
a fine example of domestic tension and the aftermath in "acceptable" photography. fine blend, sir...
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