The old man had a pain in his ear.
He itched it for days while drinking beer.
One month later the ache was gone now he can't hear.
A contest entry
- Wanted: mainly not a poem by bird at rose.
350 points, ended February 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What are your thoughts?
Comments
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There is a lesson shown which makes me laugh
Hi! Firstly, I'll thank you for entering!
The beginning line of this poem makes me feel sorry that this elderly guy hurts; I was prompted to think that he'd get a comedian remedy while clearing his fleeting agony. I mark your further statement that, "He itched it for days while drinking beer" was a collision of problems going on all at once. He might've been getting a rash from overly rubbing in one spot, and the overdoing of alcohol that becomes acidic flames his health even more to only have temporary seeming help occur.
Your finishing "sentence" in this tale shows a slow jolt with a weighty but not abundant ha-ha. It snaps a nerve that could have meant that he wasn't eating right.
I liked your way of hinting that wine isn't for good spirits when things have gone past just a desert manner through a children's story,
SplishSplashPencil
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