The air starts getting cold
Leaves start to hit the ground
Red and green are colors
That you have just now found
The loud noises of geese
Honk loudly overhead
High above in the sky
When you watch their wings spread
The light sugar like frost
Sits down upon are yard
Without weighing down grass
When you make it look hard
Showers start steaming up
Puddles form everywhere
While they hit hard and soft
When it hits down with care
The costumes on bodies
Drag upon the bare street
Moaning and groaning
While tired on there feet
They go to every house
Then nocking on each door
Than they saay trick or treat
And unicef for poor
Slowly they lay candy
Now counting one by one
Trading treats is very fun
I'm sad to say were done
A contest entry
- Ages 13 and Under ~ Seasons and Changes by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended December 6, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 and Under - Prewrite Heaven 2 by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended December 7, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST FOR NON TROPHY POEMS!!! by psychiatrists dream.
875 points, ended January 19, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I too..am a new poet, and have received wise lessons
from reading, and reading, and more reading, on top
of mountain high reading, on this poetry site, about
adding scents, flavors, sounds, heart thoughts about
our poems. I think you have a wonderful outline of
a poem,
and here is my poetic flavor that I did with the
outline of just your first paragraph in hopes that
you will learn too....to add YOURSELF to the poem!
ORIGINAL:The air starts getting cold
Leaves start to hit the ground
Red and green are colors
That you have just now found
EXAMPLE:
A sting is in the air
Leaves of crisp colors no longer cling,
Dying,
they aimlessly fall
to burial
grounds below.
Once sharp and vivid,
I shed a tear for the beauty and scent,
they once were.
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In the 2nd stanza I think you mean "spread"
Your rhyme is pretty good in this, a little forced in some areas, but overall good and I did enjoy the imagery of it. Very nicely done indeed
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great job! i love the part where you wrote Showers start steaming up Puddles form everywhere.While they hit hard and soft.When it hits down with care.
that was beautiful poetry!!!
i think you will do great in the contest!!!!
I
this poem snd its creativity. it had a wonderful flow to it to! NICE JOB!!!! VERY WELL WRITTEN!!! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST!!!!!!!!!
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Very well written and brilliantly rhymed





