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Month of October

The air starts getting cold
Leaves start to hit the ground
Red and green are colors
That you have just now found


The loud noises of geese
Honk loudly overhead
High above in the sky
When you watch their wings spread


The light sugar like frost
Sits down upon are yard
Without weighing down grass
When you make it look hard

Showers start steaming up
Puddles form everywhere
While they hit hard and soft
When it hits down with care


The costumes on bodies
Drag upon the bare street
Moaning and groaning
While tired on there feet

They go to every house
Then nocking on each door
Than they saay trick or treat
And unicef for poor

Slowly they lay candy
Now counting one by one
Trading treats is very fun
I'm sad to say were done

A contest entry

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Comments


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I too..am a new poet, and have received wise lessons
    from reading, and reading, and more reading, on top
    of mountain high reading, on this poetry site, about
    adding scents, flavors, sounds, heart thoughts about
    our poems. I think you have a wonderful outline of
    a poem,
    and here is my poetic flavor that I did with the
    outline of just your first paragraph in hopes that
    you will learn too....to add YOURSELF to the poem!

    ORIGINAL:The air starts getting cold
    Leaves start to hit the ground
    Red and green are colors
    That you have just now found

    EXAMPLE:
    A sting is in the air
    Leaves of crisp colors no longer cling,
    Dying,
    they aimlessly fall
    to burial
    grounds below.
    Once sharp and vivid,
    I shed a tear for the beauty and scent,
    they once were.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    In the 2nd stanza I think you mean "spread" Your rhyme is pretty good in this, a little forced in some areas, but overall good and I did enjoy the imagery of it. Very nicely done indeed


  • longlife
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great job! i love the part where you wrote Showers start steaming up Puddles form everywhere.While they hit hard and soft.When it hits down with care.
    that was beautiful poetry!!! i think you will do great in the contest!!!! I this poem snd its creativity. it had a wonderful flow to it to! NICE JOB!!!! VERY WELL WRITTEN!!! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST!!!!!!!!!

  • a u r a
    November 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written and brilliantly rhymed