A tin of beans, so harmless then,
But now I'm serving five to ten.
I'm getting ahead, let's start at the beginning,
You'll see why in my sadness. I'm grinning.
A perfect supper, my favourite food
Wolfed them down, I barely chewed.
So innocent the beans, delicious too,
Licked the plate, ought else to do.
Retired to bed, all then was well
As I drifted off, remembered a smell.
When I awoke, my nostrils sore
Opened the window, about dropped to the floor!
I shook my wife, she rolled her head
Tongue hung out, my Sweetie dead!
The Judge at me did throw the book,
Jury would not give me a second look.
To you this must seem all rather sad,
Naught that I did was oh so bad.
Why in my cell am I not grieving?
Had beans for supper, tonight we're all leaving!
Author notes
A sad situation, this of Rouge Poet! Is this poem comforting? Well, I thought perhaps a few days off might not seem so bad when contrasted with the consequence illustrated above.
It is only now after spending several years hiding here in Mexico that I feel comfortable talking about this situation. Why Mexico? Need you ask? A mi me gusta mis frijoles! (I just love my beans!)
Funniest movie scene I can remember is a campfire scene fro the movie "Blazing Saddles" with all the cowboys seated about eating their beans. Anyone else remember Mongo?
Apologies to those who thinK I write about something different in every write. I guess I have touched on this topic before. Still hearing of the plight of poor Rouge Poet sparked a creative thought.
How much of this is actually true? My lips are sealed. Let's just say I have GOOD FRIENDS. "Friends help you move, good friends help you move bodies!"
If the topic is of interest to you. I have 'bean' here before
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2476047
Comments
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Coolness
Cats never fart
We are too smart
Ellis just farted
Again it has started
Tiki Cat
Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
"Too Good For Humans" -
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Cat food ads in a comment!!!!
I do not know about cats,so I take your knowledgeable word. Dogs however can clear a room! It is funny because when you look at them, they get these 'downcast eyes' like they feel a great shame at having been discovered.
Appreciate the comment Ellis. Jadon
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There's nothing funnier than farts. Hehhee. I wonder why that is so and why is it that only we can appreciate our own smells or why our intention is to share it with the ones closest to us. Hehhee. This is too funny.
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Curious, our behaviour!
A good point now that you mention it. Why do we try to "share it with the ones closest to us"? Someone 'kills the air' and they almost desperately hope someone else will catch wind of it (good pun in there) and make some exagerated display of disgust.
You are right Wendy, why is that. If you discover an answer I hope you will share it. Thanks for your comment and giving me something to ponder. Jadon
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Dearest Uncle Jadon
Baked beans and creamed corn with eggs over easy on toast is my absolute favorite meal, my mouth waters at the mere thought. Of course, my youngest daughter, who sleeps in the same room as me puts the fan on and leaves the bedroom door open. Your poem is wonderful, humorous and I LOL. I do remember the movie Blazing Saddles well. The scene you describe is a favorite of mine and my friend's. We have a good gaggle over it often. We both eat beans! Lucky no one can track our texts, they are mostly about "what happened after I ate food that has combustible effects on the human body." Great write dear brother. Keep them coming. Best of luck in the competition, definitely worthy of a trophy.
Hugs and love,
Petratani xo
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Appreciate the recipe!
As I read your comment I tried to imagine what to me is a new combination to enjoy with beans. I shall have to give it a try. It is winter weather here, but we may be opening the windows anyway! lol
Finally, someone who knows and appreciates the deep cultural experience of "Blazing Saddles". I am not alone in the universe! I feel estatic. Thank you so much Petratani for your fun comment and contribution. While I feel for your poor daughter, you and I do have fun torturing our families eh? Jadon
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I very well remember the other poem that you wrote on this subject because I remembered I thought the "kill the air" line was so hilarious! Just like your other one, this title for the poem is perfect, and it's almost making me dread having my family eating beans on Thanksgiving next Thursday. LOL. I'm going to have to tell you a funny story in a message that I think you'll find amusing, but until then, good poem, and you definitely had me laughing. It was especially funny since I had a pretty love song playing on my computer when I was reading it!!!
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Musical accompaniment!!!
Now why should I be chuckling at your comment when I haven't even heard your story yet. Perhaps it is your dread regarding Thanksgiving ! lol
"Music" usually does follow such a meal although I had not imagined a "pretty love song" !!! You're the best superstition. Thanks so much. Jadon
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Back to basics!
"a million housewives everyday pick up a can of beans and say ...beans means WIND" That was an add on TV, I have replaced heinz with WIND, don't know if you have Heinz beans over there, but here they are massive and very combustible! Have we "bean" here before? I think you are Chicago bound my friend, a gasstranomical write!. WASP.
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WASP means fun!
Heinz beans are in England!! Wonderful news. I shall be right at home in your land then!!
People may wonder about the pirate background . That very "WIND" powers the sails of the ship. Skulls more obvious.
When I land on your shores, no question then of what we shall be eating and we shall hoist a few in honour of a treasured culinary delight! Thanks friend! Jadon
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Hahahahahaha!!!Nice one! You and your BEANS!!! I definitely KNOW that is a bad meal for you!! Haha, such a funny poem though. Your poor wife!
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No sympathy here!!
"Poor wife"!!! What about poor Jadon? I can see where your sympathies lie! You're just as bad as those non-understanding jurors! Hmmm, come to think of it.... you do look familiar! I did only find eleven of those jurors. I'll be right back, just gone to get my beans.....
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You shoulda farted in court!
You would have gassed everyone in the courtroom and then you might have escaped!
SUCH a funny poem... truly... and I am delighted to get your poem's author's notes, too. 
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Wish you had been my lawyer!
Now, why is that people always come up with these ideas after the fact? lol I should have secured the legal counsel of the firm of Melodies, Attorney at Law Your services would have saved me a great deal of embarassment and time.
Still, I would not have met all my new friends in prison! Appreciate your fun comment. Do not be giving away my identity now. I have worked hard to keep out of the public eye! -
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Surely Rogue Poet could have good legal basis for a complaint against his employer, if he has been suspended without pay. If everyone who farted at work were sent home, suddenly all the workplaces would be empty.
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A lawyer's dream!
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Made me smile all through
lol...Really done well here Jadon....Unique approach, good flow...still damn on the theme...I was wondering what to expect in this contest...Now you are making me want to read the rest of the entries...Glad to see you in a contest....and it is great how you write about varied themes in most of your poems...I kind of like to boast that about your poetry....All the best!
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... and I am all smiles to see you!
Gee crimsondew, you're making me blush here! Thanks for making such a fuss over my little poem. You are constantly honing your skill in contests so I figure this to be pretty high praise.
Definitely a unique contest eh? Well I just stopped by to see what Melodies had been up to and it caught my attention. Could Rouge Poet really have been suspended for such a thing? Must be a story in there somewhere.
Anyway always good to see you my friend. We'll see you around. Jadon
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Ah my friend, I should be glad to help you move the bodies should you ever have the need. My lips are sealed. You have touched on a subject that brings laughter straight from the gut as I can relate. I have a bean lover myself and whats more I have a lover of what the beans produce as an after effect and thinks it to be the most hilarious thing on earth!
Let me just say this and don't think me disturbed!
I'm hungry... I'm in the mood....
plain and simple I need food...
eats some beans and very soon...
every body in the place will leave the room!
I so enjoyed this! I am LMAO! Thanks for the fun!
Your friend forever!
Frogz~
P.S. I am no saint as I love mexican food myself and it does a number on me!
Huggles~
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Good Friends like you are gold!
Thank you so much! I knew you would be the very "GOOD FRIEND" I could count on.
Ohh Frogzter, you should enter this contest. Dare I say, you understand this topic so well. Thanks for the short poem. Now I have to explain to everyone why I am laughing!
So here is the plan then, we move the bodies and then we go eat some Mexican food. Probably safer than eating first and then slugging all those bodies!
So glad to see you my friend, and considering how many bodies there are, so VERY glad! Jadon
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