so now i can say, with the clearest of heads
[this is] everything i want, all i need
and i swear with everything
i'll [keep] hold[ing] on to this
and when i look in your eyes
i [see everything that makes me] cry
and this is something we undoubtedly, unquestioningly
[wonder.. do we] need [this?]
but the answer still rings, silent and true..
[if] this is something we need [why does it hurt so bad?]
this is love, true love
everything [never] makes sense
and i know that we can
[someday, maybe dream of] work[ing] this out
this is one cascade, one avalanche of
[conflicting, torn] emotion
pouring out my heart
i [can't] love you, i['ll never be able to] hate you
i swear i'll never lie
i'll only disregard my feelings to save you
i love you
Author notes
read it first without the stuff in brackets, then read it again with the stuff in brackets... totally changes the meaning...
A contest entry
- I want genious, abstract, something deep. by BigE.
300 points, ended December 6, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Super[b]
Wow a superb enrty. I read it without the bravket before I even read the notes, and I thought it was a WONDERFUL write. Very creative, and very unique. Great job, thanks for entering.
Steven -
i love you.
we've got this; we need this.
two sides of a complete you.
and i love it all.
Adding your comment:
