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I, The Witness

I am witness to the pain,

The wishes I've exploited,

Thinking with uncertainty,

That ghost within,

Haunting the old ruins.

 

I am witness to the changes,

The seasons I've spent,

Picking up the shards,

That reflection within, 

Reaching for the mirror.

 

I am witness to the spirit,

The new eye I've found,

Unlocking the divine,

That wisdom within,

Creating the new discovery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

What are your thoughts?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    November 30, 2007
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    Thanks for entering

    A deep and passionate write. Nicely laid out and a joy to have been able to share this part of who you are.

    Good luck - let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to All Poetry

    Excellent poem and wonderfully vivid imagery. Well done indeed. Thanks so much for entering our contest
    Gaylene


  • Sean Logue
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Like it.

    I've tried finding nirvana, the lyrics are a bit confusing though! Well done, I like this.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 13, 2007
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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    G'day Gildon ♥

    Very powerful write. I love the imagery created in the minds eye with your words. Unqiue.

    Great flow.
    Thank you for your entry
    Best of luck in the contest
    Stay safe
    ~Amanda


    • Gildon
      November 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the rose. It's too bad it doesn't give any scent.


  • Animarising
    November 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your comment on territories of hawk and dove.
    I, The witness is a very good piece of writing. It's deceptively simple but the use of language is more effective for that. I often struggle to be simple enough, so I know it takes talent to do this, well done.
    I really relate to it all, but especially the final stanza. Here the poem opens up to a kind of transpersonal level, which resonates with me.

    • Gildon
      November 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      One of the things that I would like to improve on is writing more complex poems. The method I have for that is to visualize a storyline scenario, write down the concept into a few paragraphs, and then write it as a poem. Maybe I minimize myself but I want to practice before I write the complex stuff. I appreciate your comments on I, The Witness.

1 - 7 of 7