My home is a fantasy nightmare,
It's darker then the shadows.
Nightfall is the lord here,
The sun wouldn't dare show its face.
Sitting in the forest thinking about the lies,
I have been told in my dark lonely life.
Despite all my fear; despite all my pain,
The moon shining on the lake is so great.
The moon makes me happy; makes me feel special,
It makes me feel like nothing is regretful.
The trees tell me not to worry about you,
That you made bittersweet lies about me.
Thats all I was good for.
Author notes
Picture inspired-http://mmebuterfly.deviantart.com/art/Tears-32106647
Title givin- Bittersweet lies
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I'd Like to be your mom
If not sister is fine too..
BabyLove--z
A contest entry
- Pictures and Titles ♥♥♥ by ForgottenMemories.
567 points, ended December 10, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please adopt me on AP by Folklor.
525 points, ended April 21, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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What an awsome poem mom! XD
cant wait to get to know you x
this is like my motto 'no regrets' thats why I love this poem
'It makes me feel like nothing is regretful.
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This poem has a very sad and emotional feel to it, and it makes me wonder if this is writted purely based on the picture, or if it involved some of your real life as well...
thank you for taking the time to enter the contest - I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
the sadness comes through loud and clear in this poem.
thank you for entering and good luck
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I completely agree with aligurl's comments. You seemed to change moods midway through the poem and it was like you started a new piece. I would scrap the last stansa and go back to building from the first stansa...you had something there.
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The beginning was amazing but the end to it seemed very simple compared to the beginning. The last stanza and the closing line don't really have the beauty of the first part and I really loved the first part. I think with a little tweaking, this poem would be fit for a professional. If you make any changes please put that in the author's note because I willl be re reading the poems through out the contest. Good luck
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Thanks
Thanks for the entry into the contest and good luck -
wow I loved this!
You really did fit the title with the poem well, and the imagery and flow in your fabulous piece were just amazing.
Wonderfully written, a very interesting read.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
Sleep-N -
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Thanks, im really glad you liked it.
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well.. id give a title and pic to you to make it more challenging, but it might be really really chanlenging coz the pictures and titles dont really fit well together.. so i'll give you a pic.
9# mmebuterfly.deviantart.com/art/Tears-32106647 -
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i can make them fit
and the url doesnt work
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im sooo sorry bout the URL not workin, i'll try it agen.
mmebuterfly.deviantart.com/art/Tears-32106647
ok and i'll give you a title aswell then.
6. Bittersweet Lies -
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kk, its done. hope u like
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