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Bonsai-tree in forest

 
 
 
 
 
At night a forest grows-
trees backed up as far
as eye can see,
when roads have emptied
of noise and air of smog.

 

When everything is quiet
enough to hear a mind.

 

When the dark voices pray
in ancient temples of wood
and bone, to sing hymns
in praise of all things empty.
 
Frost understood this fear
between each tree. Us too.
How limbs twist light
into cold spaces,
measure the huddled warmth
of shadows leaning too far.
 
The Forest our Father, the Night
our Mother.
 
We wait patiently to out-grow them both,

to rise above each canopy.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

Just a poem people. Calm down and don't go reading too deep between lines

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

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Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • sheltered
    December 10, 2007
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    Tree Bein

    Simply extraordinary


  • exalted
    December 3, 2007
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    I liked it. There were some fantastic pieces of imagery, especially "how limbs twist light into cold spaces" and "to rise above each canopy"

    Especially those last lines. I'd venture to say profound. Overall quite good, thank you for the entry-

    Cassidy


  • ellipsist
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    beautifully worded... amazing where one's mind wanders when in gridlock and what it can be compared to... it seems to start out speaking of loneliness, to me, in tight spaces and in the most crowded of places.... then it evolves/develops into a more stoic approach: an appreciation of that time allotted to be alone with one's thoughts...

    "When everything is quiet
    enough to hear a mind."

    I find those lines especially beautiful, especially poignant


  • Utok Bulinaw
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Profound. Very well done.


  • Cat gold member
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    If this was entered in an open contest- you pick the theme.. it would be a gold contender (it's that good)

    but i don't see it as a traffic jam poem.

    hymns in praise of all things empty-

    such a strong line and maybe the ultimate challenge to find if it is all empty..

    at any rate- not sure if i understand why it's here.. but i don't think i care ..

    it's very good

    m


    • EvilKate gold member
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. One of those 'muse went where it did' things. I meditated on the last traffic jam I was in and, that was where I went back then - recalling escape/peace - anything away from crowds, which ironically is when a different kind of pain would strike. It was back during the separation, when I was just facing things and the ex was still around.

      But yeah. It was honestly something that rose from a traffic jam - I kept thinking the cars were like a forest ... but, it didn't write quite like that in the end. Such is life

  • NurseChilly gold member
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this roams about Kate, for sure...

    however, I don't really see it as traffic jam type of write hun... ? but mind wanderings and warblings are what we are made of at times...

    yes?

    many thanks doll for entering our contest

    G.x


  • Abby Apathy. silver member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The Forest our Father, the Night
    our Mother.

    We wait patiently to out-grow them both,

    to rise above each canopy.


    wow, powerful words, poet.

    beautifully penned.

    Abby

  • Dalaney gold member
    November 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    you painted a picture...
    Love, Lane


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    November 17, 2007

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    What an amazingly deep and wonderful poem..ancient widdom seeps from it ....truth scrolls from the trunks of those trees... every word drives a message home and i9t is handed to us on the leaves from your poetic pen.

  • michael thomas
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is just a poem
    where my mind does roam
    when I am left alone
    with an empty mind
    for the angels workshop

  • Birchwood
    November 15, 2007
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    This is really very good, Kate. What a beautiful scene, feel, metaphor.


  • Just Rob gold member
    November 15, 2007

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    Amazing!

    There is Zen here, it would have fit well in my contest. It fits well here, in my forest, where the Mugo Pine wears a new coat of snow. The metaphor and image envelop the reader in your canopy. I want to write like this when I grow up!


    Peace, Rob


  • ardentMarch gold member
    November 15, 2007

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    there are just so many absolutely brilliant lines in this poem..one of your best..I love the title

  • Crystal Chanda Lear
    November 14, 2007
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    A very powerful and evocative piece of pure poetry.

    D.M.


  • brightredtulips
    November 14, 2007
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  • Rosh
    November 14, 2007

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    hmmm well I am not much of a nature person in general, although there is always something in the beauty of nature that stirs a poet's soul.
    Excellent use of metaphor here and your use of words were very effective in stirring the imagnation.
    I do have to say though at times your words seemed to run into eachother disrupting the flow of the poem. For example" when roads have emptied of noise and air of smog" to me it would flow better if you broke up the lines in this piece a little more. but that is just personal preference. It really was a good piece of poetry

  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    November 14, 2007

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    oh gosh this is one divine write darling.
    the darkness about it is amazing.
    llove your title!
    those damn bonsai tree's have me fasinated.
    i often think little people..
    uh never mind.
    xxx

    . Rewarded 4


  • LadyUnique silver member
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    there are a lot of woods around me and i go walking there during the day. i live in the country and it's ink-black at night. i've always wanted to walk through the woods when it's dark. so far i've been too chicken

    i especially dug the last line. it makes me think.

    congrats on being spotlighted


  • Champaign Kisses
    November 14, 2007
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    Its graet

  • Astral Lady
    November 14, 2007

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    This is an incredible piece. I love your imagery and the metaphor. I love forests, especially at night. The quiet, the cool air, the eeriness behind the shadows.
    I especially love these lines:
    "When everything is quiet
    enough to hear a mind."
    I just stopped here to soak in the image!

    "When the dark voices pray
    in ancient temples of wood
    and bone, they sing hymns
    in praise of all things empty."
    The sounds of voices, wood, bone - all musical instruments - beautiful. The last line is so powerful.

    "How limbs twist light
    into cold spaces,
    measure the huddled warmth
    of shadows leaning too far."
    The imagery is so beautiful.

    Thank you for the gift of your pen - you are one of the great poets on AP.
    Love,
    Moira


  • Gods-Artgal
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem. What was your inspiration for writing this poem. You are one of the best poets on this site.

    . Rewarded 4


  • PerfectTonight
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely beautiful. I love the metaphor and beautiful...words. Love it.

    "When everything is quiet
    enough to hear a mind.
    When the dark voices pray
    in ancient temples of wood
    and bone, they sing hymns
    in praise of all things empty."

    That part really touched me, love it.

    . Rewarded 6


  • PageTurner
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Profound penning, my Friend. Frost, forest, and the night... all favorites of mine. It also seems ev'ryone reads too deeply between the lines on this site! Must be a poetic thingy. I saw alot of me and my meandering ways in your words...

    "When the dark voices pray
    in ancient temples of wood
    and bone, they sing hymns
    in praise of all things empty."

    Inscrutable Insight, Scribe!

    ~ Nicky♥


  • Starswhispers silver member
    November 14, 2007

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    Wow it is truly something to read "your deep lines". Thanks for sharing.


  • Nicolette gold member
    November 14, 2007

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    I always read too deep, lolol... so no point in telling me not to do so ! Wonderful application of metaphor here and... I'll stop because now I want to go deeper into that forest and give the bonsai a hug. Excellent poetry!

    ~ Nicolette


  • Night Hope gold member
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Frost understood this fear
    between each tree. Us too.
    How limbs twist light
    into cold spaces,
    measure the huddled warmth
    of shadows leaning too far."

    Sighhh...Exquisite penning, my Friend. I love the night & the forests, as well as Frost. Thanks for the author notes, Sweetie ~ I almost ALWAYS read too deeply between the lines. Then again, so do my readers sometimes. Beautifully executed, wonderfully presented. Good luck in Mary's contest. Wanda

  • thabiso
    November 14, 2007
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    nature poetry is one of my favourite forms of poetry and nice work you did there.
  • TheLittleMistro
    November 14, 2007

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    The fist time I looked at your poem, I just let the words wash over me, and to be both truthful and unremorseful, I didn't feel anything one way or the other about it. I then sat for a while and read it again, much deeper and more openly this time.

    What i have to say is that you have a great piece here, but without thinking to deeply into it, you can't fully experience what it is that you're trying to paint with our minds. Also, from the 8th line to the 12th is my favourite part.

    So, so far: great work, looking forward to reading more of your work and i also look forward to reading this piece when you're content upon its completion.

  • Pandorea
    November 14, 2007
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    this is really, really good. very peaceful, very calm and generally good


  • Dijene
    November 13, 2007
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    i really liked the imagery, it tells of an ancient kind of feeling that we all have deep in uswhen thinking about that kind of thing

  • Asdzaa Nadleehe silver member
    November 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Exceptional imagery...Very beautiful indeed..
    I adore nature poetry...
    This is an extraordinary gift ..
    Best wishes with this entry...
    Peace and many blessings
    ~A~


  • Kevin Moderators member
    November 13, 2007

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    poweful piece!

    quiet enough to hear a mind -> I wanted a new stanza after that. its kinda an odd phrase, it needs a pause after it


    measure the huddled warmth -> "Then measure the huddled warmpth"? Needs a joining word to me.

    forest father/night mother line is interesting but felt incomplete to me for some reason. They fit together strangely...


    • EvilKate gold member
      November 13, 2007
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      Thanks. Yeah, it is a work in progress. I have the start sorted - just need time and perspective to sort some transitions better.
  • mmook
    November 13, 2007
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    thanks for sharing

  • michael thomas
    November 12, 2007
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    Damn, stop it, it is not just a poem. It is you and there is no poem, only fodder for us to feed on that is your soul. Thank you for such a quiet reflection of the reality of growing past our beginnings.


  • rebeka
    November 12, 2007

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    i loved your notes...and the title..the poem is damn good too i fashion myself to be an evergreen, a tall one..i dare anyone to try to twist me into anything i am not

    i can't help but read a lot into the lines kate, there is a lot of depth here.


  • Grunts Girl
    November 12, 2007

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    just have to love the yin and yang of it all....


  • marc creamore
    November 12, 2007

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    "Just a poem. Calm down and don't go reading too deep between lines."


    Sorry Kate . . . but I gotta read this over and over so that I can savour each blissfully lonely moment it contains . . . and if it takes me deep inside myself, well then, so be it . . . there is so much to contemplate in this piece and the imagery is absolutely beautiful . . . I love this from the first line to the last!


  • Perfiction
    November 12, 2007

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    If only, if ever. The beauty in each expression you pen is so stunning. Some of the line seem prose like, which still makes sense and flows smoothly but I think it affects the visuals of this poem. But who needs a pretty layout, when their words are as beautiful as yours.


  • Rowan gold member
    November 12, 2007

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    My mind's too fuzzy to inflict more meaning into this than necessary, lol. But I know I liked it! It has a deep ring of lonliness about it, or perhaps, more a sense of being dislocated. Now see, now you got me looking deeper~ lol.
    You do that to me.


  • TheRamer
    November 12, 2007

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    as usual... this is kick ass... so visual, so beautiful... i little bit of sorrow almost... great as always... damn your talent!


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    November 12, 2007

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    i wanna be a bonsai
    ..well maybe not, not so sure about being formed into shape at someone else's whim

    dis is beautiful.


  • dehydrated
    November 12, 2007
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    *Eek* i loved your first stanza


  • transcendental baby gold member
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Damn, why not? Fine stuff here

1 - 46 of 46