Our passions are high,
When love first starts to fly,
We embrace with full force,
The emotions are not with remorse.
We kiss with intense,
Our body's in etwine,
Sending chills down our spine.
We close our eyes,
And enjoy with delight,
Our breathing is deep,
As we enjoy our feat.
The touch of our hands caressing our bodies,
The yearning I see within your eyes,
As we commence to our love's desire,
For completion of our fire.
A contest entry
- OPTIONS COME LOOK SEE WHAT YOU LIKE by lesbian-in-love.
635 points, ended November 20, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pulsing Stimulation by adsaige.
300 points, ended November 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gentle Love by Celticjedi.
600 points, ended December 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose & dirty pretty by whiterabbit..
375 points, ended January 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE: Made for Each Other by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended December 15, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very sensual. My only suggestions are that the three line stanza throws off the flow since all the others are four, and also the third stanza is a little weird. (Calling it a feat? I guess maybe... but for some reason that reminds me of an old man no longer used to certain...erm...feelings? Like, 'Sweet jesus, I didnt know I had it in me!' 'Yes Earl, that was quite a feat.' lol.) Okay, maybe not QUITE like that, but the word did kind of throw me off. Aside from that though, this poem is really good--I like how it talks about things being so strong starting out. I hope the fires continue to blaze indefinitely. Excellent write, and good luck in the contest.
--Shannon -
A beautifully sensual piece
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sweet
I can see you are not as bold as Nikki on this subject though. LOL! I love it just the same.
Good write,
Melanie
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Now you have challenged me to be more bold...lol...
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good
It's okay to express yourself on here I think. I love it and I am glad I could share it w/ you and Nikki. Know my mom is on here too.
It's great!
Melanie
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Judged
Hm, this is beautifully done, and I will admit I'm not a fan of rhyming, but it's all ok! I would like you to know that you did a good job. Good luck in the contest. -
Beautiful done yet again. I am a sucker for such love poems as this. I love the lines:
We close our eyes,
And enjoy with delight,
Our breathing is deep,
As we enjoy our feat.
The touch of our hands caressing our bodies,
The yearning I see within your eyes,
As we commence to our love's desire,
For completion of our fire.
Thanks so much for entering and good luck to you. -
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Thank you ... glad you like it ..i'm new at this so i'm not use to how everything goes.
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