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Love Is

Love is a true intrest in one another

A true devotion to anothers happiness, and in doing so love comes to one.

People so seldome say "I Love You" then its to late or love goes

So when i tell you "I Love You" not that i know i'll never leave,

only that i wish i didn't have to.

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  • aeolia
    November 11, 2007
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    "anothers" -- another's.

    "seldome" -- seldom.

    "I Love You" -- "love" and "you" don't need to be capitalised.

    "its" -- it's.

    "to" -- too.

    "goes" -- nothing wrong with the word, per se, but it's such a weak verb. You could really have an effect on your readers with more powerful diction-- not just here, but overall. The words you choose are common, powerless, and there's no abstraction or poetic devices to turn to for said power/effect. Consider another verb, perchance.

    "have to" -- you really shouldn't end sentences in prepositions, either.

    Overall, weak, but I like the idea. You could really benefit from reading good poetry and experimenting with style, poetic devices, sentence structure, vocabulary, and Eru knows what else.

    Keep writing!

    --Cristina